I have been asked to define respectable conservatism.

It is very important to understand that a more correct term would be "conservative respectable," because "conservative" is the modifier here. The first real aim of respectable conservatives is respectability inside the present liberal-conservative political system. If he must choose between conservatism and respectability, a respectable conservative never hesitates to choose respectability.

The commentators you see on television and read in the syndicated columns are selected by a bureaucracy. Bureaucracies always choose people who "fit in."

Liberals run the media bureaucracy, and they only want to talk to conservatives they feel comfortable with.

This is the problem with conspiracy theories. Routine bureaucracy ACTS like a conspiracy, but it is nothing of the sort. A conspiracy is run by the head. You can remove the head men of the media bureaucracy and the body will act exactly the same.

Also, do not think of the "bureaucracy" here in the terms one would usually picture it. I am not using it to refer to a single organization of bureaucrats run from top to bottom.

The "media bureaucracy" simply means those who produce our media commentary. They all answer to each other, argue with each other, and select each other, so they constitute what amounts to a single bureaucracy.

For example, William Buckley became a champion media bureaucrat, though he never worked directly under anyone else.

Buckley was selected for his role because he "fit" into the media bureaucracy. He became the perfect respectable conservative who would show just the right combination of criticism and respect for liberals.

The obvious question here is, who is NOT part of the media bureaucracy?

Well, to start with, Matt Drudge is not a media bureaucrat. He selected himself, and the media bureaucracy hates him bitterly for it. As long as he succeeds by going directly to the market the way he does, he will not be declared "respectable." Any right-winger who has not gotten this "respectable" title from liberals is blocked from the mainline media.

If you are not a right-wing Uncle Tom, you are not allowed to open your mouth. Meanwhile, the Uncle Toms themselves are going to make sure those who refuse to be Uncle Toms are kept in their place. As you would expect, nobody is more fanatical in shouting down "right wing extremists" than respectable conservatives themselves. You can count on Jack Kemp or Orrin Hatch or John Inglis to jump right in on the attack on anyone the media call "racist." The Bushes and the Doles are at the head of any liberal lynch mob.

Bless his soul, Jeffrey Hart reviewed my book, A Plague On Both Your Houses, in 1976 in National Review, under the title, "Read This One!" In this review, he freely admitted that even people like him had to make truly bad concessions to respectability in order to get their case to the public through the media.

But Jeffrey Hart never became a full-fledged respectable conservative. He is allowed media access, but he will never be "one of the boys" like Bob Novak or Pat Buchanan or William Buckley.

A conservative respectable will not hang onto real world truths that are uncomfortable for liberals, and they can be sidetracked very easily. You can count on Novak to be an economic theologue, and, in the end, you can count on Buchanan to end up as a harmless religious nut.

While rewriting this, I was watching MSNBC. A conservative laughed at a liberal who was giving the same old routine spin. The liberal was terribly upset. I have noticed this many times - when he is going through his routine silliness and a rightist LAUGHS, the liberal commentator gets terribly upset. Watch and you will notice this, too. In the end it will be LAUGHTER that will RID US OF THE LEFT.

The left will only be destroyed when people start calling their nonsense nonsense, and denounce the morons who keep repeating this bilge as the morons they are. As long as there are conservative respectables who will look stern and serious as "progressives" recite their nonsense, the left is safe. As long as conservative respectables say what True Intellectuals and Honest Patriots leftists are, liberals will survive and dominate our national dialogue. Conservative respectables live to oblige this leftist need. What is important to a respectable conservative is to maintain his respectability.

Any point he was making takes a distant fourth. Clinton's recent use of frivolous court privileges is very much like the routine liberal use of frivolous labels to throw conservatives off. When the heat was on, he used what liberals always use, fast footwork to get attention off of the hot problem. Few people have noticed the fact that it worked -- again. In January, almost everybody, from Moynihan to Ginsberg, agreed that if Clinton had had sex with an intern in the White House, he should go. No more!

As always, not one conservative respectable confronted these people with their earlier statement about demanding Clinton's impeachment for using his office to have sex with an intern in the Oval Office.

Novak was busy trying to be trendy and Buchanan went back into his moralist groove. The basic point was utterly forgotten by the respectables.

That is, after all, what they are there for.

If a respectable conservative starts making a point that bothers liberals, the "progressives" simply throw frivolous labels at him like "racist" or anaziwhowantstokillsixmillionjews. By the time he has saved his respectability, he has completely forgotten the point he was making. It never really mattered to him anyway.

This is not a conspiracy to select kooks and lightweights. It is simply that, if you had someone there who would not let liberals get away with silly stuff, the debate would collapse.

A man who worked with me on the House Education and Labor Committee appeared once, just once, on a national television debate. The debate concerned increasing federal aid to education. My friend would not get off the point that, the more federal aid there is, the more student scores fall. The two liberals were furious. They accused him of saying that giving money could actually HARM education - which was exactly what he WAS saying - and they were shouting that this was impossible.

They said education money HAD to help. My friend was pointing out that Federal money goes with federal regulation, and federal bureaucrats are ruining education.

There was a respectable conservative on the program. He was supposed to be on the same side as my friend. But this conservative respectable knew better than to join in this exposition of liberal silliness. The liberals were furious about it, and he had to satisfy them first.

He did so, and took their side against my buddy.

My buddy was, not surprisingly, never invited for another national debate anywhere. You will see that conservative respectable on national television a lot.

The right will fail as long as it selects its spokesmen this way.

Linda Tripp has had it! Liberals are going after her, which means respectable conservatives are after her. She is helpless now, and libs hate her, so respectable conservatives will earn their "respectable" label by cutting her throat.

This is what respectable conservatism is all about. As M. Stanton Evans pointed out, "Conservatives always leave their wounded."

Actually, if you want to be a really respectable conservative like Kemp or Hatch or Buckley, you have to do more than that. You have to cut the throats of your wounded.

The word "respectable" is absolutely essential if one is to make good money as a right winger. You don't get on national television without it, and you don't get a national column that is generally published without it. Unless liberals declare you to be a "respectable" rightist, you become a fascist, you become "anaziwhowantstokillsixmillionjews," and nobody will touch you.

This wonderful term "respectable" comes at a price. That price is exacted by the liberals who control our national dialogue.

Even Pat Buchanan, who is as far right as he is allowed to be, always chooses respectability first, no matter how ridiculous he has to be to do it. If he must choose between conservatism and respectability, a respectable conservative never hesitates to choose respectability.

Look at the craziness even Buchanan has indulged in to keep his "respectable" label:

An outright racist appeared on Crossfire way back when Buchanan and Bradley were on it, and Buchanan joined the liberal commentator Bradley absolutely. Buchanan was in danger of being called anaziwhowantstokillsixmillionjews, so he had to jump through every hoop Bradley wanted him to.

In his desperation to prove to Bradley that he was respectable, Buchanan agreed to the most incredible proposition. Buchanan insisted that American soldiers fought in World War II to allow massive nonwhite immigration into Europe!

Bradley told the racist what all liberals always say about World War II. He said that American soldiers fought and died so that Europe would accept massive third world immigration and integrate.

The racist said, reasonably enough, that had American soldiers thought that was what they were fighting for, they would have refused to fight.

Buchanan had to prove he was not an Evil Racist, so he backed Bradley all the way. He insisted again and again that American soldiers went to Europe to fight and die for massive third world immigration and integration!

I could not believe Buchanan had done that. But he said the same thing again. Then he INSISTED on it again.

The segregated United States Army, said Buchanan, fought to make Europe brown!

He agreed to everything else Bradley said. In this debate, any deviation from the liberal line would have threatened his status as a respectable conservative, so all bets were off.

I don't think I have ever been so disappointed in anybody in politics as I was in Buchanan on that program. He absolutely CRAWLED!

The left NEVER deserts its wounded. When the USSR fell, Phil Donahue immediately teamed up with one of the Communist Party's Russian defenders in a joint program. Nobody attacks Communists without catching it from liberals.

And if you call a liberal a Communist, he'll look you straight in the eye and tell you where to go. He won't let you call any other liberal a Commie, either.

But if you want to scare off a respectable conservative, say "NAZIWHOWANTSTOKILLSIXMILLIONJEWS" loudly and he will panic and give you anything you ask for.

And if a liberal calls anybody anaziwhowantstokillsixmillionjews, every respectable conservative demands the right to join the lynch mob.

If liberals give you the label "respectable," you got it made. You become a Jack Kemp or an Orrin Hatch or a William Buckley. A respectable conservative becomes half of the political dialogue. Jesse Jackson allows him to come on "Both Sides."

Remember that it was not Orrin Hatch or William Buckley who was out there defending Paula Jones when she was alone against Clinton. It was the "fever swamp" (AKA, not respectable) right that stood by her.

Linda Tripp has ceased to be of use to Starr, and the liberals want her bad. So she has had it, and only the "fever swamp" right will fail to declare her Evil.