Archive for June, 2005
In his Foreword to my book, Joe Sobran said I could use a few more statistics and citations. Others have criticized me for a lack of citations.
You would be stunned if you knew how many citations I could quote. Someone just explained to me about the Cathari. I have read tracts about the Cathari, many of which claim that they did not believe what they were accused of believing.
When the debate over race comes up, I have read it ALL. So I could spout the whole wealth of evidence on my side and the others could do what they always do, shout “racist” and cite Recognized Authorities.
I am 64 years old and I don’t get paid for this, so I don’t play that game any more.
Everybody calls me “simplistic.” I would love to found a school of philosophy called “Simplism.”
So instead of repeating the mountains of information on race, I go back to what everybody is arguing about. They all agree that brown countries are poor and stagnant.
The “racists” then try to explain why black countries are stagnant and the anti-racists get paid to prove, brown country by brown country, that this is all a gigantic, consistent accident. The citations on both sides are endless.
I’ve read them, and I don’t want to be one more citer of citations.
So I return to the original point that both sides agree on, the one they are arguing about:
Brown-skinned countries are stagnant. Putting it that bluntly upsets the “scientific racists” every bit as much as it does the anti-racist. They want to prove it is true by EXPLAINING it.
I just go back to the fact that it is true. I go back to the fact that the anti-racists are betting the entire future of the human race on the idea that this is an accident.
I say that is bad. I say that is evil.
And I have not used a single citation to prove how smart I am or how learned I am.
Before Western Science, every society had a complete explanation for everything. So they asked no further questions and they went nowhere.
In Western Science, “one experiment is worth a hundred Expert Opinions.” In other words, no matter how many citations you have, you are just citing people. Every confident man, including every priest of all the Old Religions, had a motto: “Things are not as they appear.”
All of them made a great living by saying that and their societies stagnated.
It may be God or it may be evolution, but something gave us eyes and those eyes were given us for a very good reason. If you got into an airplane and the pilot said, “I am flying this plane entirely on the principle that things are not as they appear,” the passengers would panic.
But those same passengers always listen to people who want to lead them on the same basis. Those people give them endless citations and Words of Wisdom. Those people reject the simplistic notion that a fact is a fact and that the person who ignores it PAYS for it, big time.
After all these years of education and reading about everything you can cite, I have concluded that what is true is true.
I am a Simplist.
From the May 1st, 2004 WOL
A “blog” is a personal web page where you just write down whatever you damned well please and put in public for people to see.
If you have an idea, you can put it on the public record by putting it on your blog.
If you have an invention, you can put it on the public record by writing it on your blog.
If you are like me and your best ideas cannot be published, you put them on record in your blog.
A blog is usually a kind of public diary of your thoughts.
My blog is more like a diary than it is like a web page.
My blog is not written for the reader, but you are welcome to read it until you get so bored you can’t stand it.
DO NOT HOLD ME TO ANYTHING I SAY IN MY BLOG.
Do not expect the blog to be nearly as professional as my writing. I am talking to me, not to you.
You are listening to the meanderings of a person with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. That makes real writing hard work. My blog is not going to be hard work, so it is going to be a bit scatterbrained.
You are welcome to tell me anything my blog makes you think of.
I have been confidential advisor to everything from mercenary soldiers to alcoholics and drug addicts to the President. This list could go on a long, long way. I have learned to think like a host of people.
So my blog will be an exercise in writing from inside the skin of a lot of other people besides me.
I can try to think like a Klansman one day and like a Communist the next. I’ve known plenty of both, and I have given advice to both, free of charge. I respect and will give PERSONAL help to any honest person, wherever that honesty leads them.
That attitude is part of my own personal Bible Belt heritage, “Judge not that ye be not judged.” But it has repaid my efforts many, many times over, not the least because I can walk in a lot of people’s shoes.
If this doesn’t give you the warning you need, you need to go back to Kindergarten.
If you are the kind of person who permanently rejects someone because of one wrong thing he said, I don’t want you near me anyway.
I warn you, that kind of person is not worth knowing. Get away from him!
I realize my blog is public. So I won’t identify people in it or give information that would allow anybody to identify them. Trust me, I’ve had to do that all my life.
After I have said all this, if my blog infuriates somebody, that person is a fool.
And I am retired, I have all the money I want, and I have done enough in my life so that I need to impress nobody, so I don’t give a damn.
If that sort of person reads my blog, he will reject me forever. That would be a favor to me. If the blog gets rid of people like that, that alone would make it worthwhile.
A blog never ends, so if you want to take a look now, do so. But it will be there a long time, and it will get longer and longer. But remember, WhitakerOnline is written for you, Bob’s Blog is written for me.
There Bob Goes Again!
Mark thanked me for getting off religion. Just like the time I went off on Zoroastrianism I have been arguing religion and, as Mark put it, putting him to sleep the way sermons did when he was a child forced to go to church.
My apologies again. The problem is that I am a Bible Belter, and we used to talk about the Bible around the dinner table the way Yankees just naturally talk about …
Well, whatever Yankees talk about.
By the way, in Canada the courts have ruled that you are only allowed to quote Politically Incorrect passages from the Bible in the home or in a church. Quote them elsewhere and you are arrested.
In case you think they’re joking, a CATHOLIC BISHOP was arrested in Canada for the offense of quoting those non-PC parts of the Bible outside his church and outside a home. I reported on that earlier.
I have yet to hear any outrage expressed by church “leaders,” Catholic or Protestant, in the United States.
But none of this is an excuse for me to bore readers.
I got frozen out of the Traditional Christianity group on Stormfront for my views, but it served one excellent purpose.
People have STOPPED throwing THEIR VERSION of God at me.
Oddly enough, the result of my beating that issue has been that others have stopped beating it in my presence.
In that sense, I am a bit like Mark. When I do a lot of work, and it is work, to boil a political issue down to its essentials, I want people to read what I just said CAREFULY before they go off on some tangent.
And I want THEM to WRITE their thoughts on what I say. What I do NOT want is to read some quote from somebody generally relating to what I said. And the easiest way to quote something and seem profound is to copy something out of the Old Testament.
That is SO tiresome!
Everything goes into politics, your version of religion, including your atheism, your pet peeves from childhood, being raised around the group that calls itself The Greatest Generation as I was. I spend a lot of time picking real politics out of my pet peeves.
Believe me, it is always a temptation, when I have an audience, to drift off into my pet peeves and get off the subject we have in common, the subject I am there to discuss.
So it is not too surprising that I tend to drift off into religion.
Please understand that I am not Pope Robert I or Professor Whitaker or any other Voice of God. Almost every single fault I denounce is the direct result of the fact that I have committed those errors repeatedly and very seldom is my cure permanent.
If I denounce it, chances are you’ll catch me doing it myself.
Weekly WhitakerOnline.org Articles
“The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a “C” the idea must be feasible.”
– A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith’s paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service.
Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.
My internet radio program this week is about the fact that the Soviet castle in the sky fell, and the American castle in the sky is ready to go, too.
It is called “Idiocracy.”
America’s established religion, Political Correctness, is sitting on nothing. It is made up of mindless, bureaucratic fools who have promoted each other to titles that sound great, but mean nothing.
They are living on inertia, just like the Soviet Union did for so long. Only a cold-blooded murderer like Lenin or Trotsky or Stalin and finally Brezhnev could keep the system going by terror.
Nobody believed in any of that Marxist nonsense anymore than anybody really believes in Political Correctness today. All they have left is a more subtle form of terror. They can get you fired. They can withhold a college degree.
Outside the United States, this terror is less subtle. You say the wrong thing and you go to prison, though a much nicer prison than the Gulag. Under capitalism you are ruined professionally instead of being sent to Siberia.
Each system that is run by mindless go-alongs and which does not work must base its power on its own form of terror.
No one predicted the fall of the Soviet Empire.
No one is predicting the fall of Political Correctness.
That is because the people who get paid to do all the public predicting assume the system they are studying rests on something.
But the Soviet system rested on nothing.
The same is true of our present system.
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One Castle Just Fell
The reason that the USSR fell is because it was sitting on nothing.
Not one single professional Sovietologist, not one, had any inkling that the USSR and its empire were about to collapse.
I have looked it up, and not one single “expert” had the slightest inkling that this was about to happen. Almost every time I mention this fact the person I am talking to says he heard about somebody who predicted it. I asked for a citation.
I have searched.
Let me repeat this:
Not one single expert on the Soviet Union, who got paid the big bucks to know all about the Soviet Empire, had the slightest idea that the whole thing was about to go down.
What happens to a business consultant if he hasn’t the slightest inclination that his client’s competition is about to go under?
Every single one of those experts, inside and outside of government and the universities, cost thousands of dollars to “educate” and they all got paid good money.
They ALL failed.
Completely. Utterly. Inexcusably.
So what happened?
They all kept their jobs and most of them have been promoted since. All of them will get great pensions for the job they didn’t do.
We have plenty of experts on every aspect of our ruling religion, just as the Soviets did. But what was clear to Yeltsin, that the system was built on nothing, was something no expert INSIDE the USSR would be allowed to hint at.
And our experts OUTSIDE the system were just as oblivious to the fact that the Soviet Emperor had no clothes.
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In 1982, anyone who said the USSR was about to fall would have been laughed out of the room.
But what happened when the pressure was on was a game of dominoes:
1) Gorbachev renounced the terror that had kept the USSR going since Lenin’s Red Terror in 1918.
2) Suddenly people started saying what everybody was thinking, “This system is silly, is childish, the dream of a bunch of professors who never did a day’s work in their lives.”
3) People began to QUESTION. And that was the end.
Suddenly the Republics like Estonia and Ukraine started saying, “Why SHOULDN’T we be independent?”
People started asking, “Why are all other WHITE countries rich and we live at a level a third-world country would consider embarrassing?” The Confederate flag started showing up.
We all remember the crisis when Gorbachev was arrested and Yeltsin took his stand on top of a tank.
We all remember waiting for the Soviet Army to show up.
It never showed up.
NOBODY believed in the System. The Emperor was as naked as plucked chicken and had been for years.
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Why the Whole Thing Looks Different to Me
Everybody else sees Political Correctness as a giant, unbelievably powerful monolith. Which is exactly how the USSR looked in 1982.
I repeat, in 1982, anyone who said the USSR was about to fall would have been laughed out of the room.
You see a huge, totally dominant system built on unimaginable amounts of money and power.
Above all, you see Evil Geniuses at work backing that system with their lives and with genius and subtlety and endless ruthlessness.
Like Yeltsin, who was from the Russian version of Pontiac, South Carolina, I see a bunch of wimps and ignoramuses like the Soviet bureaucrats. Yeltsin saw a Potemkin Empire in Russia.
You are too much a product of our system to be able to see it as it is.
All those grim-faced Sovietologists were complete morons. They looked at the USSR as a power forever. Respectable conservatives perform the same service for our own Idiocracy.
Push it hard and it will fall to pieces. The universities are a wonderful place to start. Tens of millions of young people are paying off back-breaking student loans, and every one of them knows he was cheated.
Tens of millions of young people are trying to start families, and each child will require the payment of college costs that are skyrocketing and show no sign that there will be any limit to them when their children reach college age.
Everybody knows that. Only I SAY that.
Our Idiocracy is ready to fall.
and let’s push it over the edge.
(Reprinted to Blog from email list of 6/25/05)
*** Bob’s Insider’s Message ***
I have exercised a staggering amount of power in my life. None of it fit any of the macho clichés.
If you want to know exactly how to handle huge amounts of money, you can get endless amounts of advice in your local bar. Find a guy who can’t afford a drink and buy him one. He will give all the advice you ever wanted to hear about how to make and use money.
People who have never actually handled large amounts of money can tell you exactly how you can make money grow and where it should be put.
Ask a real self-made multimillionaire exactly what you should do with large amounts of money and he will probably give you no answer at all. If he does give you advice, it will very cautious and lengthy and, above all, it will not be anywhere near as interesting as what you will hear in the bar from the guy whose drink you had to pay for.
The person who has never been responsible for large sums of money can tell you all about it.
Exactly the same rule applies when it comes to power.
At a recent convention a nice old guy was marching around telling everybody, “Mao Tse Tung said that power comes from the barrel of a gun.” This gentleman, of course, had never had any power at all, so he knew all about it.
The fact is that no war hero ever made any difference in real history. People worship war heroes and despise the guys in the suits. But the fact is that the reason thousands or millions of guys are out there dying in their uniforms is because a few guys in the suits PUT them there.
Much more common is another piece of Wisdom people who have never had any power or money love to repeat:
“Power is all about money.”
The wonderful thing about this piece of Wisdom is that it sounds so good. It is just the sort of thing a person who has never had either power or money loves to say, because it shows he knows all about both power AND money.
Boy, that sounds not only Practical and Wise, it sounds MACHO:
“Power is all about money.”
It reminds me of a poor little very rich guy named George Soros. Soros has billions of dollars and hates George Bush with an obsessive passion. He spent $27 million in the 2004 election and had not the slightest impact on the results.
It would have been less embarrassing for Soros if he had accidentally HELPED Bush by his efforts. What was really embarrassing was that he had not the slightest impact at whatsoever.
Money is exactly like water. As Rudyard said in his poem “Gunga Din,”
You may talk o’ gin and beer
When you’re quartered safe out ‘ere,
An’ you’re sent to penny-fights an’ Aldershot it;
But when it comes to slaughter
You will do your work on water,
An’ you’ll lick the bloomin’ boots of ‘im that’s got it.
When you don’t have water, water is everything. When you don’t have air, air is all that matters. When you don’t have money, money is all that matters. But if you DO have water, you may talk of gin and beer and despise water. When you have no trouble breathing, you use the expression, “It’s as easy as breathing.” When you’re broke, like the guy in the bar, money is everything.
Let me explain a simple rule to you about power and, separately, about money. Many, many times the Wall Street Journal has reported the results of actual experiments comparing highly paid financial experts with monkeys.
In every case, the monkey spins a wheel or throws an object and the investment is made on the basis of what the monkey hit on. Those results are then compared to a wide range of — let me repeat this –- advice given by highly paid financial consultants.
In every case, the results are dead even. But real people with real money still hired those same financial consultants and paid them the big bucks. These tests were scientifically conducted, but no one pays them any attention.
It just FEELS better to lose your money on the advice of big-time consultant than on the basis of a dart-throwing monkey. Everybody would consider you a complete idiot to bank on the monkey, and everybody, including you, would not feel bad about banking on the same consultant all the other moneyed people bank on.
In the real world, the fact that it amounts to exactly the same thing means nothing to you or to others.
Exactly the same thing is true of highly-paid political consultants. Once you are a name in the business of political consulting, you will always be a big name in the field of political consulting.
This is because of Whitaker’s Rule of Political Consulting. Two kinds of people hire big-time political consultants. One is the guy who has a lot of money and suddenly decides he wants to be a senator or at least a congressman. He hires a big name.
When he fails, nobody blames the consultant. It was silly, everybody says, for the rich guy to have thought he could buy that office in the first place.
The few times such a rich guy wins, all the credit goes to the political genius, and he charges more next time.
Have you ever noticed that, after a presidential campaign, you hear all about the geniuses who guided the winning campaign and you never see a word about the big-time campaign managers who LOST?
Losers are not news. You only hear about them when they win.
Whitaker’s Law of Political Consulting says that once a man attains the status of political genius, you will only hear about him when he wins. For that reason, once you become a big-money political consultant, you will always be a big-time political consultant.
The same is true of financial consulting. Nobody wants to hear about the losers. So they only hear about a financial genius when he wins.
So the guy in the bar actually believes that all a man needs to make his money grow is one of the financial geniuses only rich people can afford. That, he tells you wisely, is the only reason rich people make money and he needs you to buy him a drink.
I never had the heart to ask such a person if he ever heard of rich people who LOST money.
I never had the heart to ask that same man if he ever heard about it when a big-time political consultant LOST an election.
The whole point of buying the guy a drink is to relax and listen to his nonsense. It’s all for fun.
But out in the real world where real power and real lives and real money are at stake, this macho crap is much, much less amusing.
I get a LOT of spam when I go to moderate your comments.
The fact is that I almost never moderate YOUR comments. If I find that I have accidentally deleted one of YOUR comments, I always apologize in the blog and ask you to send it again.
But I usually accidentally erase YOUR comment because of the spam. I have to erase each piece of spam because I have to search it carefully to be sure the huge pile of spam does not hide a real comment.
Which is exactly the reason we all hate junk mail so much.
Junk mail is irritating and a lot of bother. You find your mailbox full of junk you have to throw in the garbage. Worse, when you leave home awhile and pick up your mail at the Post Office you have to sort through pounds of junk mail to find any real mail.
But that’s not the worst of it.
The worst of it is that you have to CAREFULLY pick through all that bulk crap because that important little envelope from the Internal Revenue Service or somebody you need to hear from is buried in it.
And no matter how careful you are that junk mail is going to cause you to MISS something important.
I have exactly the same problem with the spam that comes in my e-mail and in moderating your comments.
We desperately need to demystify some of these words that sound so abstract and intellectual.
Peter was talking about the Gnostic Heresy.
The Gnostic Heresy is alive and well today and this needs explaining clearly and simply.
The Gnostic Heresy in early Christianity was what I call Wordism today.
The Gnostic Heresy was simply the idea that the only people who got to Heaven were the scholars. You obtained salvation by spending all your time digging through the Old Testament finding the most obscure passages and learning the Hidden Truth, the Key to Salvation, that was hidden in them.
What Gnosticism condemned was the idea that you could attain Heaven by common sense and common decency. What Gnosticism condemned was the concept that one could attain salvation by getting out among the sinners and telling them the simple truth.
Gnosticism said that Heaven was for the Learned, not for the masses.
We call those same Gnostics today “professors.” The common sense and decency of the Founding Fathers is not for them. They do not see the practical cornerstone we call the Constitution. They believe the true statement of what America is all about is in the Declaration of Independence, a propaganda document written right in the middle of a war in a city the enemy was about to occupy.
Today’s professor-priesthood, the clergy of our established religion of Political Correctness, love the thundering words of the Declaration that dedicate America to the French radical idea that all men are created equal. Liberals insist that America’s whole purpose is to found a New World Order for all mankind, and to cram it down their throats.
For today’s Gnostics it is absolutely repellant to even consider that the Founding Fathers who wrote the Constitution in peacetime and for us, meant what they said. The Constitution states flatly that the only people it was written for was the people of the United States and OUR posterity. The Constitution states flatly that the only AUTHORITY it rests on is we the people of the United States and OUR posterity.
The Constitution says simply that we the people of THIS country are doing what we have a right to do, and no more. It says we are setting up our own government ON OUR OWN, not because of some obscure Gnostic principle of a World Mission.
Abraham Lincoln said, “Our fathers founded upon this continent a great nation, dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.”
They did no such thing and they said so. The Soviet Union was dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal and it meant to enforce that on every human being on the planet.
No wonder today’s Gnostics of this world despise George Washington and love Karl Marx, just as the Gnostics of the next world despised Jesus Christ and worshipped the Old Testament.
No Gnostic will tell you he despises Jesus Christ or George Washington. But if there were two men in all of history you could not possibly twist into Gnostics, those were the two.
Jesus never told anyone to read the Bible. He spoke in Aramaic and He quoted the scriptures his listeners knew about. He specifically condemned the High Priest to Hell who knew every word of those Scriptures and who PRACTICED them. Jesus said very, very specifically that the sinful tax gatherer in the back of the Temple who admitted he was a sinner and SIMPLY asked for forgiveness was the one who attained salvation.
There is no way that anybody can reject what was later called Gnosticism any more clearly than Jesus did. He repudiated it repeatedly, blatantly, plainly, obviously, openly – you could exhaust any Thesaurus with this.
In my little way, I try to do what Jesus did. I study so I can explain the truths of decency and good sense to the people, and discredit Gnosticism in any form.
I have read those huge tomes for the specific purpose of discrediting the idea that reading and studying Karl Marx or the Old Testament is the key to salvation in this world or the next.
And the more I study the more I realize that Jesus was dead right, and the closeted Old Testament scholars and professors, the High Priests of yesterday and today, were dead wrong and ARE dead wrong.
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
– Jesus Christ
The Golden Rule works both ways. A monk who starves and whips himself is doing to himself what he would never do unto others. A man who makes himself a nonviolent human sacrifice would never do that to another human being.
To paraphrase HS, you are not in charge, God is. If you owned yourself, you could do anything to yourself that you wanted to.
But you don’t own yourself. God does. And Christ told us how we must treat ourselves and others.
Purposely causing pain to yourself or others is not an option.
Making yourself and others as happy as possible is your duty.
“The greatest evil is physical pain.”
– Saint Augustine
And a final quote from a somewhat lesser source:
“If suffering is good, you would benefit enormously by going to Hell.”
– Bob Whitaker
HS, you talk about my not using citations, but you don’t, either.
There is one citation I badly need. You say,
“As far as members of other races not thinking these things, they did and do.”
Remember I am not talking about some Chinese philosopher mentioning whether life is worth living. Some Chinese philosopher sat and talked about everything while children died and had worms in their guts around him.
I am not talking about theorizing.
If you read the Norsemen’s sayings, you will see that they were discouraging others from actually killing themselves, not because of some evil deed or some tragedy, but because they just didn’t want to live any more.
Suicide was very common in Japan, but it was only committed when one had been disgraced or done something inexcusable and suicide was the ultimate apology for it.
Philosophizing in some obscure text about whether life is worth living or committing suicide at a crisis has nothing to do with the point I made.
I have never heard that suicide was at all common in China as it was in Japan.
But, since I gave up all hope of being elected to the Papacy, my dreams of infallibility have been dashed, so I am open to contradiction on a FACTUAL basis.
I see no evidence that the non-violent human sacrifices made in monasteries and convents came from any non-Aryan tradition. Except for Christians, the Buddhists alone have chaste monks, and Buddhism comes from white India.
Again, I am open to FACTUAL contradiction.
If you will read the Christian stories of the fifth century, you will see that the ultimate heroine is a beautiful, good, intelligent woman who marries an equally fine man and then persuades him to live with her in chastity for the rest of their lives.
Chaste people did not produce many offspring. That stork story is not true.
Paul was one of the most important and forgotten peoples in history, a Hellenic Jew, a Roman citizen. Millions of Hellenic Jews existed at the time of Christ. The historian Josephus was one of them. They disappeared entirely as Christianity advanced, and I do not think it was because the Romans killed six million Jews.
Hellenic Jews wrote their scriptures in Greek. I think if you looked at them, you would be amazed how blond they were. There are depictions of Peter and Paul from the first century, and they are both depicted as very light-skinned and one of them is blond.
A Methodist preacher wrote me that all those Hellenized Jews at the time of Christ were not Jews, they were Gnostics. That is one hell of an anachronism.
He also informed me that Christ and all His disciples were COLORED MEN, without any citation. He told me that the first white Christian was Luke. Again, no evidence.
Apparently that is what they teach at mainline seminaries now and their real religion, Political Correctness, requires them to accept it.
Peter says that Paul never hinted that people should not procreate; he only advocated sex inside marriage.
Paul wrote the Book of Corinthians. Let me quote from it:
1 Cor 7:1,2,4,8,9
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. I say therefore to the UNMARRIED (My capitalization) and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. BUT IF THEY CANNOT CONTAIN, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
Paul and the Christian moral stories said that the ideal is that one should NEVER have sex in one’s entire life.
Either the Roman Empire had artificial insemination — and I would LOVE to see a citation on THAT one — or Paul is recommending childlessness as the Christian ideal.
Elizabeth replied to my article about how girls and boys are different by agreeing with me, which is always nice. But she added a more important point: that when women get into a fight, there is no quarter, no rules of engagement, no Geneva Convention.
H.S. agreed with her, as Elizabeth ended, “Gentlemen, just stay out of these battles.”
Feminists love to quote things like the old Roman Law. They point out that, according to those laws, women were reduced to cowering, helpless slaves.
But if you read real history, you see the usual proportion of Roman men, those all-powerful paterfamiliae, who were terrified of their wives.
As usual, I look for the simple explanation of this.
Here it is:
Men are physically stronger than women. As a result, women developed a form of defense that men have only gotten a name for in the last century.
It is called psychological warfare.
My brother is the father of three girls. Once when one of them was about three, she came up to him, cuddled up in his lap and said, “Daddy, I love you.”
She then went into the next room.
My brother was charmed.
A minute later he heard her five-year-old sister in the other room whisper to that little girl, “Yes, that’s how you do it.” My brother is a pediatrician, so this did not surprise him in the least.
While men are learning to be men and warriors and writing great sagas about themselves, women are also learning how to be women. I have this paranoid feeling that if anyone wrote a history of THAT, the Sisterhood would kill them.
They say that we are all great singers in the shower. When you are singing in the shower you can hear the music playing in your mind. But when most people actually sing to a tape recorder they are appalled at what comes out.
The same is true of people who are “doing an accent.”
I have a relative who will sometimes do a Southern accent, and he is just awful. He sounds like every New York comedian who hates the South and mimics Southerners in a way I have never heard anyone, trash included, actually speak.
All of my kinspeople not only love the South, they are Southern Nationalists. But when he does that Southern accent, this guy does not hear himself and how much he sounds like that South-hating New York Jew.
I have heard the person he is trying to sound like, and nobody could identify any similarity.
He doesn’t mean any harm, just as a perosn who thinks he can sing and has no talent means no harm.
Most people can’t sing. Most people can’t “do the accent.”
Most people can’t sing or do accents. Yeshiva University finds that out every time it puts on Shakespeare’s “Merchant of Venice.”
Just as a lot of people think they can sing, a huge number of Jews think they can do a stereotypical Jewish accent. They think they are hilarious. So at Yeshiva, year after year, the people looking for a good Shylock have to suffer while they listen to a hundred people who think they are doing The Offended Jew perfectly.
You have watched the same thing happen when people are looking for singing talent. It is not only painful for them, it is embarrassing. You listen to one person after another who honestly thinks he or she has rhythm and a great voice, and they are just AWFUL.
But, just as in the case of great voice, when you hear someone who really can “do the accent,” it is magical.
One Jew I know always goes into The Accent when the subject of some big sale deal camesup. He will suddenly assume a character that would make Shylock look like a Presbyterian. He moves his hands and says, “Such a DEAL! Such a deal as you never had in your life!”
If you could see him do it, you would laugh until the tears come, the way I do.
Political Correctness outlaws that sort of thing. It says “doing the accent” reinforces a stereotype.
“Doing the accent” has nothing to do with reality.
“Doing the accent” is the stereotype squared or cubed. That’s why it’s so funny.
You are not laughing because it is grim, sober reality. That simple observation is beyond the Politically Correct imagination. It requires a sense of humor, and a sense of humor requires a sense of proportion which sour-faced Political Correctness simply does not have.
If you have any experience of the real world you would no more believe a real Jews talked that way than you would believe that Laurel and Hardy were being presented as typical white gentiles.
The problem is, of course, that Politically Correct people have no experience with the real world. “Doing the accent,” like all real comedy, goes beyond reality and every adult knows it.
Politically Correct people have no sense of humor, so they see it all as a plot against Jews. At the same time they never even imagine that Laurel and Hardy or Abbot and Costello or Al Bundy on Married With Children represent some kind of plot against white gentile males.
When I lived outside of Pontiac, South Carolina, we had the only TV set around the brick plant. So the little black kids I played with would come and lie on the floor — with me in case you think they were being humiliated. They were ALWAYS there when “Amos ‘n Andy” came on.
The program was entirely black. They saw black judges who spoke perfect English. They saw black doctors. They LOVED it.
But all the NAACP noticed was that this comedy program had some comedy blacks on it. Amos was the complete idiot, just like Laurel in Laurel and Hardy. The Kingfish was the Hardy, the guy who could always fool and cheat poor old Amos and who thought he was smart because he could.
Andy, the narrator, was a black taxi cab driver who had touching scenes with his children and was a very sensible man. But the NAACP did not notice the black judges, the black doctors, Andy’s good sense, the black teachers, or anything else.
All the NAACP saw was that the two main character in a comedy show looked like fools.
Oh, and there was the lawyer Calhoun. He was the one educated black on Amos ‘n Andy who was portrayed as a fool. The NAACP ignored the black judges and said it was all a plot to make all black lawyers and all other educated blacks look like fools.
If you get a tape of the old Amos ‘n Andy show, you will find that the black lawyer who was a featured character on Seinfeld acted EXACTLY like Calhoun on Amos ‘n Andy.
Why? Because it’s FUNNY.
So the NAACP scored a major triumph by getting Amos ‘n Andy taken off the air, despite the fact it was a hit show and the ONLY black show on television. Not one of the black actors on that show ever got another major role. There were no roles for blacks, and I’ll bet every one of them was tainted forever by the NAACP for being in on this evil, racist White Gentile Conspiracy.
I once saw the actor who played Amos do a bit part on TV as a butler. I felt the unfairness of it all. He was as great an actor being Amos as Laurel was as being the complete white gentile idiot. But the NAACP put him on the human junk pile.
As for the black kids who had been there every week to watch Amos ‘n Andy, they were completely stunned. They cried. The world of educated blacks, of caring black parents and hilarious black comics was suddenly gone.
My Christian blog commenters are actual Christians.
Please note I do not put “Christian” in quotes as I so often do with others.
My commenters are very unusual Christians. In the first place, they know the facts. I always learn a tremendous amount from them. My flat statements are also questions. They give me answers.
The purpose of Bob’s Blog is to make ME think, too.
Secondly my Christian bloggers do not fit the stereotype, which so many “Christians” do, that a Bible literalist or a hard-core Catholic is somebody who goes to pieces when they are contradicted. I have found that stereotype all too often fits.
Thirdly, unlike “Christians,” inside the quotes, my bloggers are very forgiving. Look at HS’s latest reply to me. She makes it very clear that she thinks I am being a numbskull, and she warns me that the gloves have been off for quite a while inside this blog and they will stay off. She even makes it clear that what I say often hurts her.
But she also states flatly that this is the way it should be.
As I have said repeatedly, the Catholics, Bible literalists, Calvinists and other hard-core religious people I have worked with all my political career believed firmly that the others were going to hell. Except for the hard-rock atheists, who thought everyone else was silly.
And they SAID so.
To each other.
Then we all went back to fight the fight side by side.
I am very proud of my little band here.
As for those who can’t get in here and duke it out with me, they can’t stand the heat so they should stay out of this kitchen.
Not only is it very hot here, we’ve got big old iron frying pans to hit each other with.
What I say about war comes from what The Greatest Generation would call “an armchair general.” The tiny little incidents I was in were not part of a Real War. I have never been in Real Combat.
Until this was explained to me, I honestly thought I had been. That was because of a brain trauma, I suppose. One time I did something stupid and was on my feet when a high explosive went off in front of me. It knocked me backwards on my neck and I lay there for what seemed like an hour, but was probably a few minutes, thinking I was crippled from the neck down.
Then the feeling came back. It was the best pain I ever felt. I was not a permanent paraplegic; I had just had the hell knocked out of me. A blow like that shakes the brain. I naturally would end up with delusions like the one that I was in a real fight.
So, speaking as Armchair General Bob, I would caution you about some problems with military statistics.
Let me begin with a very practical poitical matter. One of the big issues in the 2004 presidential campaign was the question of whether John Kerry was a real hero and whether George Bush the Younger was a draft dodger hiding in what the media agree was the cowardly National Guard.
When George Bush became a combat pilot in the National Guard, what the media refer to as a “draft dodge,” a person who trained as a pilot stood a better chance of dying during training than the average man who went to Vietnam in uniform.
But I STILL cannot compare Bush and Kerry in any meaningful way.
I wish I could refine this statistic. “A man who went to Vietnam in uniform” could be somebody like Al Gore, who was always kept in a relatively safe position when he went to Vietnam as a volunteer.
I do not condemn Al Gore for being in a “relatively safe position” in Vietnam. First of all, there were no really “safe” places for any American in uniform in Vietnam. Al Gore was a volunteer from the Volunteer State when he could have avoided the draft very easily.
Gore was NOT given any special privileges because his father was a United States senator. It was military policy to keep actual volunteers in relatively safe positions. I would like to make him the villain.
The problem is that he simply wasn’t.
Facts really screw up a good story.
I would like to compare Bush and Kerry, but the statistics aren’t there.
At the height of the Vietnam War there were about half a million uniformed American troops in Nam. But only about eighty thousand of those men were on “man with gun” assignments.
So I cannot compare the risks John Kerry took with the risks George Bush took. Anyone who has had practical, professional experience in dealing with military statistics will understand the difficulties involved here.
Many of the guys “in the paddies” were not in the “man with gun” classification. On the other hand a lot of the “man with gun” category did not serve “in the paddies” (which is a curious expression if you have ever seen a paddy). Many in the “man with gun” category were guards in relatively safe places.
If history were a “just so” story, I could join all the people who think Gore or Bush or Kerry was just being sneaky and evil. I could find a statistical category that Kerry was in and use it prove he was in very little real danger. I could find another statistic to prove he was in the most endangered category.
I could denounce Bush as a cowardly draft dodger as so many people do.
I would love to prove that Bush and Kerry and Gore were all getting credit for nothing. I don’t like any of them.
What stymies me is the fact that I have been cursed with a conscience. Many, many times I have wished that medical science would find a way for me to have the damned thing surgically removed.
I was raised around what I call “professional World War II veterans.” These were men who fought in WW2 and have had no life since. According to them, if you weren’t in WW2, you didn’t know what real life was all about.
I was talking to one of the more pathetic of those guys and mentioned a friend of mine who was the only soldier in his unit to come back on his feet from a battle in the Korean War. The professional WW2 vet replied, “He wasn’t in a real war, he was in a police action. I was in The WAR.”
True, not all WW2 vets are that callous and stupid. But I have never heard ONE SINGLE member of the group that calls itself The Greatest Generation have the moral courage to contradict this kind of statement by a “professional WW2 veteran.”
And plenty of them were sitting right there when the professional WW2 vets told me nobody else had been “in combat” but them.
You might as well spit on Korean War vets’ graves.
This is another reason why I have a low opinion of the group that calls itself The Greatest Generation.
My brother-in-law served in WW2 in the Merchant Marine. He insists he was “never in combat.”
He didn’t have to tell me that. Very few men who were in the Merchant Marine were “in combat” and lived to tell about it. “Combat” meant they were attacked by a submarine. Very few of the men who were on a Merchant Marine ship that got attacked by a submarine are around to talk about it.
No, my brother-in-law was not “in combat.” He just risked a horrible death at sea, never knowing when, day or night, his ship might go down under him.
For excellent reasons, I can only reveal that I have almost certainly have never been in a fire-fight that involved as many as two hundred combatants on both sides. My WW2 friends told me I had never really been “in combat.”
You sure could have fooled me.
I also knew some of the people who were trying to kill my brother-in-law. One of them was serving on a German submarine at the age of thirteen. He showed an understandable reluctance to talk about how much experience he had had “in combat.” He would have had to tell me about his success in killing people like us.
The death rate in the AMERICAN submarine corps in WW2 was one in seven. The death rate among Germans was more like 50%. And it was horrible way to die down there.
Professional American WW2 vets would probably say that all this German submariner ever did was help run the submarine while it shot torpedoes at Allied ships. He wasn’t really “in combat” unless he had been fired back at.
But he was in the same position as my brother-in-law. Very few German submarine crews who had depth charges dropped at them lived to tell about it.
So even he, a man who was in The Real War, was never really “in combat.”
Let me tell you something: I would FAR rather be in a fire-fight out in the field than sitting on a ship for months waiting day and night for a torpedo to send me to a cold drowning death. And I would take either option long before I would be willing be go down in a sub and spend months waiting for a suffocating death down there.
But what would I know? I’ve never been a Real War.
I know what you are thinking:
“Oh, Lord, Ole Bob has started drinking again.”
But, honestly, the idea that boys and girls were the same was Sacred Writ in the 1970s. It was the first line in the Feminist Bible. In order to be professor, you had to swear to the idea that the only difference between little boys and little girls was that little boys were given toy guns to play with and little girls were given dolls.
The reason for this was to force little boys into the role of ruler and aggressor and little girls into the slavish role of child-bearers for the men. The whole thing was a male plot to dominate women.
I am not joking. That was Gospel on campus. Society had conspired to keep women “barefoot and pregnant.”
More than once a woman would find I was a right-wing Southerner and she would say, “If you had your way, your wife would always be barefoot and pregnant.”
Liberals don’t believe in stereotypes, you see.
My reply was, “I appreciate the compliment, but all I could really guarantee would be the barefoot part.”
Most feminist leaders followed their own advice and never got pregnant. But a few years after the movement was at its height, a stream of articles began to appear that was written by feminists who had actually had a child or two. They all reported, with amazement, that a little boy and a little girl were different before they could walk.
No toy guns. No dolls. They seemed to be BORN different!
Gosh, what a surprise!
Back in the 1950s every ad for a horror movie always showed a beautiful woman being attacked by a male beast or a male murderer, or being carried off by same. In the 1970s this was held up as an example of Society forcing women into the role of victims.
They ignored the fact that half of the people seeing those movies were female.
Men as aggressors is not a mind-set that is exclusive to men. Every serial killer who goes to prison finds a stack of amorous letters from women.
I tried to be fair, and wondered if aggressive females get the same kind of fan mail.
Well, somehow I doubt that Elena Bobbitt gets a whole lot of marriage proposals, but I could be wrong.