B. U. G. S.

While I was on Capitol Hill, a big bill dealing with the blind came up. Hundreds of blind people were on the Hill lobbying for the bill. They had trouble getting directions because people didn’t know how to approach them.

They had flexible, extended black canes, which intimidated people. They were asking passersby for directions, but most people just went on by. They didn’t know how to get around the canes diplomatically.

I dealt with this insurmountable problem by saying, “I’m coming up to you on YOUR right. Don’t swing your cane that way.”

I then gave them directions, using open spaces, which they could sense, the little eating places on the Hill they could smell, and so forth.

Soon the sighted people they had with them were calling me for directions. They said I knew the Hill and I knew how to direct blind people. They asked me about my training.

Others on Capitol Hill were impressed by this. They asked how I performed this miracle.

This is what I said, almost verbatim:

“Well, I figure the big problem with being blind is that you can’t see anything. So I think, ‘If I couldn’t see anything, what would I want somebody to do for me?'”

This was what they called Whitaker Logic, and they enjoyed it immensely.

If you work on Capitol Hill, you have to deal with people on the basis of what they know, what they can understand, and what they can do. I can toss blindness into that mix without any trouble.

Also crutches, a wheelchair or the fact that a person is ugly. A beautiful girl confuses me as much as any other man.

How about the fact of having the proper ATTITUDE toward someone who is blind or in a wheelchair?

The other day I was getting my teeth cleaned and the technician said, “I hear thunder.”

I replied, “What would you like me to do about it?”

She knew I was kidding, but that is my attitude toward blind people, ugly people, teenagers with acne and everybody else. I deeply wish they did not have that problem, but what am I supposed to do about it?

I don’t have any handicapped “training,” but I have dealt with a lot with people like that because I seem to be good at it.

The only handicapped I have actually had professional experience with were retarded children. Dealing with them is the easiest and pleasantest thing on earth.

Retardeds have a grasp of logic that escapes people who think they’re smart. My brother was working in a retarded home as a pediatric neurologist so he was called to the emergency room when one of his patients had to go there.

The boy said, “Dr. Whitaker, I feel just awful.”

My brother replied, “You’re sick, you’re in a hospital, you’re SUPPOSED to feel awful.”

The boy said, “OK.”

He told me that story because we both wish other people could deal with simple logic that well.