Archive for October, 2005
I can’t find it, but I wrote a piece which discussed a country where I was chasing down terrorists.
I pointed out that the terrorists I was chasing took over, and a small comedy ensued. They offered me a commission by mail, then when I didn’t reply they informed me I was now listed as a terrorist in their country.
Then, since I was on their mailing list, they sent me a couple of tourist brochures. All this happened over a period of decades.
One commenter asked me if I would say what country that was. I’m glad he did, because it gives a chance to repeat some very important points about this blog.
The first is that I do not want the person who wrote that to get all upset. When I explain it will sound like I am accusing him of not reading or understanding what I said before.
Peter was saying he had said too much. No, Peter, the point of my blog is for you to say what you are thinking. If other people don’t comment as much as you do, that’s their problem, not yours.
By the same token, if someone asks me something I can’t answer for a reason, I am perfectly capable of explaining again.
Do not apologize, gang, just say it.
And don’t sweat the grammar or the spelling. I am interested in what you have to say, not in Webster’s Dictionary.
If you were drunk and you want me to remove it, I’ll remove it and your request. But sometimes drunk is good and you say what you’ve been holding back.
Now to point two: this commenter asked what country it was I referred to.
When I announced the blog, I said, “Don’t hold me to anything I say in the blog.”
What is a matter of debate to others is a matter of survival to me. “Is there a leftist bias?” is a point of debate to respectable conservatives. For me dealing with the absolute vengefulness of the left is a matter of survival.
Tom DeLay upset the liberals and now he is facing prison. The Feds spent tens of millions of dollars to send David Duke to one of the worse prisons in America on a three thousand dollar tax charge.
I have been reminded of this fact on two continents in long and almost identical speeches by two different lawyers on two different continents. Apparently these were not new speeches, because I was fascinated by how identical they were.
When the leftists finally chase you down, you have two humiliating alternatives:
1) You can say everything you claimed was a lie and — I am NOT kidding about this — that you were abused in childhood and you are a pathological liar or
2) You used to believe those things but since then you have found Jehovah/Religion/Jesus and renounce all your hate-filled thoughts.
I am leaving alternative 2) wide open.
This is because I am specifically ignoring the legal advice I got in this blog. They told me that when I got old it would be hard to avoid talking about things I had done.
My Federal files have been very carefully cleaned. I was in the direct line for clearance of ALL Federal employees and that gave me a certain amount of access to all files, including mine.
Everything is deniable.
Including the second paragraph above.
But specificity can destroy deniability. So when David Duke was pressing me in Moscow on his radio show about where I was over a period of years, I was bit frustrated that he wouldn’t understand that “I was in in various kinds of intelligence work” should have been enough to make him back off.
I have enormous gaps in my resume.
They will stay empty.
Smurfette, who says she loves me dearly, has a web site devoted to the Smurfs:
I am happy to advertise the web site of somebody who reads mine. We are the alternative media and we need to back each other up.
Smurfette’s web page talks about the 25 languages the Smurfs are published in. This is pretty relevant to me, since I was reading Smurfs in German long before they appeared in the US. In German, the word “smurf” is used as a verb the same way it is in English.
I would like to know if Smurfette is a fan of Asterix too.
Asterix is interesting because it is the only adult comic book I have ever seen.
By this I mean that Asterix is aimed at adults.
There is not a dirty word in it. I do not think there is anything particularly adult about publications that use the kind of words we used to scratch on the walls of the Boy’s Room when we were in grammar school.
Asterix can best be understood by an adult mind.
For instance, Asterix says exactly how Europeans look at each other.
To someone who is interested in languages, Asterix is a gold mine. It is published in three different versions of Dutch. Besides which, I have a couple of Asterixes that are in Afrikaans.
I also had an Asterix that was in LATIN!
The one thing that worries me about the Smurfs is that they have have a grand total of one female, who is unmarried.
She has blond hair and blue skin.
Before the World Series game, ther was a salute to Latino Legends in Baseball.
It began with a speech about Latin Americans who play baseball “and their brothers in the United States.”
I wonder what would happen if a white baseball player referred to “my brothers in Europe?”
As I said below, though she vehemently denies it, Elizabeth is Catholic because the Pope is a bachelor. I therefore took the initiative and wrote the Pope about this.
I said that I would like to set Elizabeth up for a date with His Holiness, but he if he is busy maybe he could fix her up with one of Cardinals.
The response to my letter from the Vatican Curia was something I can only describe as unfriendly.
Further, it was badly written. I found their use of the word “excommunication” tiresomely repetitious.
Don’t worry about it, Elizabeth. I hear that Russian Orthodoxy is a great alternative.
This should not make other readers of Bob’s Blog jealous.
I stand ready to do the same sort of thing for the rest of you.
Al Franken, Alam Colmes and Ed Asner, fanatically anti-white leftists, are all Reformed Jews from Reformed Jewish families.
There are three segments in Jewish religion, Reformed, Conservative and Orthodox.
The Hassidim make Orthodox Jews look Super Reformed. The Orthodox are supposed to strictly observe the Law Old Testament “Christians” worship, but compared to Hassidim, they are yawners.
But something that is not generally known is that, while Reformed Jews are hard left, the Hassidim are the solidest conservative voting bloc in America.
And, not coincidentally, the Hassidim are the only Jews who are not dying out.
I was watching President Bush addressing a group of Hassidic Jews. Every Hassidic Jew there was male and at least middle age. Every one of them was dressed in identical black suit and black hat. All of them had the same beard.
They looked exactly like a group of Papa Smurfs dressed up for the occasion.
But one thing was not funny. For some reason Bush asked how many of them had ONE HUNDRED grandchildren.
Several of them raised their hands with a proud smile.
The Hassidim are very white, many of them blond and blue-eyed.
Other Jews are facing a birth deficit that is even worse than Europe’s. And I think it is a direct result of pure hatred.
If you raise your children to hate, they begin to hate themselves. That’s what happened to New England. New England had a high birth rate at first. But by the nineteeth century they couldn’t even populate that cold, rocky little corner of America they inhabited and the Irish and other groups took over.
After the Civil War, at the height of its power, New England depopulated itself the way Jews are doing today.
New England was dedicated to the destruction of the South. The South lost and populated the West. New England died on its rocks.
Hate, real hate, is poison.
I have an observation that is in no way scientific. The right-wing Jews I know look very Jewish. You certainly couldn’t tell that Al Franken, Ed Asner or Alan Colmes were Jews if they didn’t make such a point of it.
Ben Stein looks like the Jew’s Jew. But when someone on his show on the Comedy Channel said Thomas Jefferson had a mulatto child, he actually hit back hard and said the child was probably fathered by Jefferson’s uncle.
During one of my super-top-clearance clearances my adjudicator was a Jew. Right behind him was a table piled high with reports on me from every conceivable agency. I mean there were literally a hundred thousand pages on me there, everything about me.
He asked me if I was anti-Semitic. If I had said No he could have argued that I lied to him.
I said Yes and proceeded to explain.
I said, “Every time somebody says to me ‘I am Jewish and…’ the next thing he says is either anti-white or anti-Southern or both.”
I said, “I am sick of being insutled by people who think they have the right to insult me because they’re Jewish.”
I told David Duke that and he said I must have been crazy.
Well, I got the clearance, which was the point of the exercise.
I do not like Jews in general, because they, ON THE RECORD, consistently fight to destroy my race.
You can get away with a lot if you are consistent and you know how to tell the truth.
By the same token I appreciate it when a ben Stein breaks with Jewish opinion and is a Southerner — his father was a professor at the University of Virginia and Stein has never been anything but a conservative, even when the neos were still liberal.
Bernard Baruch’s father was Deputy Surgeon General of the Confederate Army and around 1900 in New York when the orchestra at high-class New York functions played “Dicie” he would embarrass Bernard and the other kids by jumping up and screaming the Rebel Yell.
During Reconstruction Bernard’s father was a member in good standing of the Kershaw County, South Carolina Ku Klux Klan.
You expect ME to hate a Jew like THAT?
I am the enemy of my declared enemies. Those “Christians” who are getting people in the Appalachians, where liberals can’t racially mix them, to adopt third world babies, are my enemies.
Jews who are deadly serious about being Jews, and who do not begrudge my race the right to survive, are not my enemies.
From the definition of “Christian” I hear today, I am anti-Christian, too.
I was a college professor in the 1960s. That was when the Love Generation was making calls to the parents of guys in Vietnam saying they were the Department of Defense and falsely informing them that their son had been killed in action.
Al Capp was a New York liberal Jew who did the Lil Abner cartoons. That is, as he said, he was a standard liberal Jew until he made fun of the Love Generation.
Capp made fun of the John Birch Society, the Klan, Big Business, all the standard things. He said he got some hate mail for it.
But then he made fun of the anti-Vietnam protestors, the Love Generation.
He made it clear that he was not joking when he said that he didn’t know what hate was until he got it from the Love Generation.
Hate mail from the Love Generation poured in. Capp said he got more attack mail in one week than he had gotten in his whole career before. He said each letter made the Klan look like pussycats. Capp said that the language in those letters would embarrass a Harlem pimp.
Capp abruptly became a conservative.
So we all know that the Love Generation was not about love.
There was another claim the Love Generation made besides, “We’re all about Love.”
They also said they were Rebellious Youth.
They weren’t that young, but we’ll that for another article.
Right now let’s concentrate on the claim that 1960s “campus radicals” were “Rebellious.”
Remember, I was younger than many of the students I taught. If you don’t think I was rebellious, my FBI file would contradict you.
During the 1960s I would like to have yelled at the stlf-styled radicals:
REBELLIOUS!? You’re the most obedient bunch of spoiled brats I’ve ever seen!
Here was their “radical” program:
1) All money should be taken away from the military and given to professors to spend on social programs;
2) Taxes should be vastly increased to give to social science professors more money to spend on their pet social programs;
2) All policy on so-called criminals, who are actually victims of society, should be turned over to criminologists, like our sociology professors told us;
3) The economy should run entirely by professors who will plan the whole thing;
4) Any money or power left over should go into reparations to minority groups, which will be distributed the way our liberal professors tell us it should.
That was the college student radicals idea of rebellion.
Listen, gang, the ancient Pharoahs wished that Egyptians would worship every word they said the way those so-called radicals worshipped what their professors told them.
I recently stated that Elizabeth and all Catholic females are Catholic because the Pope is a bachelor.
Elizabeth denies this.
We professionals in social science deal with this problem all the time.
Anyone who drinks is an alcoholic, but many keep denying this fact.
Anyone who criticizes homosexuality is a latent homosexual.
How can they deny it? By definition, “latent” means you don’t know it. So how can anybody deny they are latent?
But they keep doing it.
No, Elizabeth, if you refuse to accept the fact that you lust after the College of Cardinals you deny the validity of today’s social sciences.
And you wouldn’t want to do that.
In Bob’s Blog, we have to take it for granted that Bob knows what he is doing.
So when Joe talks about justices and the law, I can tell he has been thinking about what I said.
But I will not approve it if someone decides to dump his sermon in this blog.
And I’m pretty good at knowing the difference.
This is much more professional than the average person can easily understand. The point here is to
stimulate thought on YOUR part.
“But,” someone could say, “How can you presume to judge whether a person’s independent statements are the thoughts you want to stimulate? Isn’t that totalitarianism?”
I think “someone” is an idiot.
And, before anyone gets paranoid, I made up someone to have a straw man.
Bob can tell better than other people whether someone is giving me a thought I helped stimulate or making a speech he would have made if I had never been born.
Bob can also appreciate the people who jump in here and say what I make them think of.
You who do that are my pay. Who else can make good minds move?
OK, enough of reading all this treacle.
Get off your asses and MOVE!
And don’t be nervous about it.
Just remember that if you don’t do it right I’ll GET you!
In alcohol and drug recovery, each convention is filled with vast amounts of literature. People in the Twelve Step Recovery program write books about how how, following The Program, they learned the way to make money, the way to be successful in life, the way to be happy, the way to have good “relationships” with the opposite sex.
There are gay recovery groups and I am sure they have books on how to have good relations with the same sex, though I’ve never seen one.
Meanwhile my whole picture of The Program is embodied in times when I had to knock a guy out cold on the way to the emergency room, when I had to take a gun away from a woman who was threatening to shoot herself or anybody else, when a guy was naked and jabbing himself with a needle in his genitals in a bathroom filled with blood screaming, “I can’t find a vein, I can’t find a vein!” , and a number of times when I had to clean the vomit out of my car after taking somebody to detox.
Back to books on “How the Program Made me Healthy, Wealthy and Wise.”
When the average person reads advice of the kind I give he generally expects three subjects: 1) how to healthy, wealthy and wise, 2) how to be moral, and 3) how to think straight.
My advice is only on 3) because 3) is all I really know about.
So let me repeat why my writings are not the sort of thing great columns or best-selling advice books are made of.
A successful advice columnist tells his audience three things:
1) How to be successful;
2) How he should conduct himself personally;
3) How to think straight.
You may find some advice on 1) and 2) SOMEWHERE in the archives of Whitakeronline, Bob’s Blog, my articles or the books I have written.
But you shouldn’t. If I ever told you how you should act personally to be moral paragon, those were the silly writings all us mere humans stoop to.
But I don’t think you will find a word of this preaching about personal behavior in all I have said.
My advice is on how to THINK straight.
Sainthood I leave to saints. I have not achieved sainthood and I never will.
This is not like The Confessions of Saint Augustine where he is talking about the sins he committed BEFORE he saw the light: He kept praying, “Lord make me chaste, but not yet.”
Even when I discuss stupid thinking, I am not talking about things I have overcome. I am talking about things I am still doing.
Some of the people writing the books about that show up on the stands at AA conventions, the ones about to be happy and successful and how to do sex right, are probably also carrying unconscious overdosers into the emergency room.
God bless them if they are. They combine perfect theory with perfect behavior.
But I never checked to see if they practice what they preached. I had my own work to do.
And even if such a perfect peson existed, he couldnot perform one role a sinner like me was perfect for.
Very few people in a Twelve Step Program want to do their fifth step with a saint.
I wrote about the fifth step before. It is where you tell one human being ALL about yourself, I mean ALL, including the sexual stuff, and learn that that person can like you despite the things you are most ashamed of.
The huge number of people who asked to their Fifth Step with me came to me precisely because I am NOT a moral paragon and never claimed to be. If I have one proof that I nonjudgmental it is the number of people who decided, or were even urged by their sponsors, to do their fifth step with me.
You do NOT go to a judgmental person for that one.
BUT, there is always a BUT, I am not good because I am nonjudgmental.
There is a lot to be said for judgement.
All those big name rock stars who tell how they overcame drugs sound great. But they give people, and not just young people, the idea that drugs are OK because you can do them and become a success and then overcome them.
No way. Look at the list of rock stars who died using drugs.
St. Augustine and the Emperor Constantine delayed their baptism because baptism was believed to wash away all sins. So Augustine got baptised after he had done his sinning.
This may be good theology, but it is an AWFUL example.
I have led an AWFUL life. I am now a lonely old man. Nietzsche said that one leads the same life over and over. That is my worse nightmare.
I have a lot to offer. I can tell you how to argue, how to get things done.
Which is all I talk about.
But very often people assume that because what I say is good, I am good.
I have left a trail of very disappointed people behind me all my life. And I’m sick of it, because I don’t deserve that extra burden.
I am one of those who give warnings I do not heed.
I am the one who cleans the vomit out of his car. I am the one people come to to spill their guts out in the fifth step. I am the one who was out there on six continents fighting the fight no one else wanted to dirty their hands with.
I stood up to the enemies of my race while all the people who beat their chests about how Moral they were deserted me the moment the word “racist” was mentioned.
I am sure there were moral paragons in there side-by-side with me the whole time.
I just didn’t see them.
Maybe I was drunk.
The Romans were absolutely nuts about playing dice.
We wonder why on earth somebody could be so fascinated with a game which involved no skill at all, but was just a matter of random chance?
The answer is that the Romans had no idea that dice was a matter of random chance. The Romans didn’t know there was such a thing as random probability and a bell curve. The took it for granted that dice was a game of SKILL.
The key to understanding history is realizing that other people in other societies and in other times lived in different WORLD from ours. If you follow the Politically Correct dictum that “all people are basically the same,” you cannot begin to understand different peoples.
In Roman times, one only sailed on auspicious dates. A bird crossing overhead was an omen, as were endless numbers of other things. Astrology was a SCIENCE. The oracles were SCIENCE.
Like our modern social siences, the one thing other societies, past and present, never studied was RESULTS.
If you never check the results, astrology is science. If you never check the results, liberal intellectuals are intellectuals.
In Roman times, a person who talked to the dice was literally talking to the dice.
As with every other pagan god, JHWH dwelt on every word a person said. If you will read the context of the Lord’s Prayer, you will see Jesus considered all this absurd: “Let your answer be ‘yes” or “no,” “those who would attain salvation by much saying.”
Every other people lived on a world which was “the firmament” and where the stars were spread above us.
Look at Genesis.
That is not the world we live in.
In ancient times women were born with one less tooth than men because Aistotle said so.
In ancient times dice was a game of skill. They didn’t know there WAS such a thing as random chance.
Now tell me you are not blind in history if you believe that all people think more or less the same.
A man has the instincts of a billy goat. He wants to plant the seed and get the hell out.
I get very, very tired of people getting that True Wisdom look on their faces they always get when they’re about to say something really stupid and say, “Power is all about MONEY.”
Actually the billionaires who spend many millions promoting the leftist agenda have very little power. All they are doing is pushing the agenda some professor taught them in college. The guy with the power was the professor who screwed them in the first place.
I thought I just approved a comment by Peter but I can’t find it.
Peter said, “I agree with Joe. I guess I should lick your hand now.”
No, Peter, you can’t lick my hand but can kiss my ….
Oops, I keep forgetting this is a family publication.
Joe, you have a very exacting sense of humor.
Each of the three comedians you mentioned took a huge chance.
Jim Kerry is a physical comedian, and that is as old as the hills. But he is just incredibly good at it.
Steve Martin is the pitiful comedian. That is also as old as the hills and it takes exacting skill to make the exact balance he makes, the one everybody tries and nobody can do as well as he does.
Chris Farley was the shouting comedian. His was the humor that every Jewish comedian tries and fails at. It has to be JUST right, and the Jews just make it obnoxious.
So, like the cat in the commercial, Joe’s tastes in humor are very simple. He wants the best there is.
My comedic specialty is, like that of the three above, as old as Cro-Magnon man.
It is called, “Injecting humor into serious subjects.”
If you don’t think a new twist on THAT is as hard as Farley’s making loud humor funny, ask any speech-writer.
But I do it GOOD.
In most speeches, you can tell when the “time to add a light touch” has been reached.
My humor is aimed at catching you off guard.
For my readers, reading what I say is like hearing somebody talk about something you had already been working out in your mind, but I have thought about it a lot and express it in a way you wish you had.
So there are you are, sharing my outrage and my disgust, getting right down to the guts of the matter. At that exact point I have the chance to inject the very essence of humor:
No joke is funny if you see the punch line coming.
But when someone is exposing the very thing that disgusts or offends you most, suddenly running into a punch line is like stepping on a land mine. I simply cannot resist an opportunity like that.
There is another element. There is a reason why professional speechwriters cannot take advantage of this opportunity the way I do here is because, for most people, humor on a serious subject is next door to heresy.
So you HAVE to signal your punch. You have to say, in effect, “Now this is a very serious subject, and I recognize that, but at this point I am going to lighten things up by making a joke so don’t take it as making light of this very serious issue that means so much to you.”
After an intro like that it’s a little hard to catch the crowd by surprise.
I need readers who trust me. That split second of surprise is precious. If you throw it away by asking yourself, “Should I laugh at this or is it heresy?” you lose it.
My humor is for people who can ride with the tide.
“I can’t believe it. Very few people can make me laugh. Jim Carrey, Steve Martin and Chris Farley. Now you. What are the chances? A guy that knows all the stuff that you know also turns out to be able to make me laugh. I think it’s the way you put things sometimes. I read you for a serious purpose. I never look to be entertained. And here it is. I can’t believe it. I’ll bet you’ve got a lot of friends. You should have. No, this is not sychophancy. Just plain straight talk.”
Comment by joe rorke — 10/18/2005 @
One of my definitions of luxury is, “the ability to take trivia seriously.”
Partly from teaching international law and also my lifelong ingterest in geography, I have developed a fascination with the political status of what I refer to technically as “tee tiny little countries.”
Does anybody else know anything about a country which exists called San Marino?
It sits there landlocked inside Italy. San Marino consists of about 12,000 acres.
It is not like one of the recent pieces of a colonial empire that gets a seat in the United Nations. San Marino has been an independent state since the fourth century.
For years it had the only popularly elected Communist government on earth. When Mousolini’s ally Germany attacked the Soviet Union in June of 1941 San Marino declared war on Germany.
This left Il Duce in a bit of a quandary. He couldn’t just stomp on San Marino and San Marino hadn’t declared war on HIM. So he gave Germany the right to send troops across its territory and until the Americans got there they occupied the place, way the out inthe middle of Italy.
I wish I could find out more about that very strange occupation.
San Marino has turned its foreign relations over to Italy, so it has no UN seat.
But SMOM DOES a UN seat, and I’ll bet Elizabeth has information on that huge country.
The Sovereign and Military Order of Malta, though the origins of SMOM are disputed, is a worldwide Catholic organization that once ruled Malta, as the name indicates. Its size was reduced somewhat
after Rhodes was taken away from them.
SMOM now occupies no ground at all. It is located in an upper story of a bulding in Rome.
SMOM has a seat inthe United Nations and has independent relations with 70 countries. It exchanges ambassadots with them!
Elizabeth, wherfe in the HELL do those ambassadors LIVE? Somehow I can’t picture seventy legations in the upper stories of an Italian office building.
Compared to SMOM Vatican City is a giant. It has 106 acres of actual ground.
I don’t understand why Vatican City is constantly referred to as the second smallest indepandent country on earth, next to Monaco, since the Vatican recognizes SMOM.
Compared to the three independent countries inside Italy, Leichtenstein is a sprawling giant. It is about the size of Washington, DC which is 40,000 acres, but Leichtenstein has long since turned all of its foreign relations over to Switzerland.
I have heard too much about Monaco to care about it. I have heard plenty about the Vatican, but precisely because it is so important religiously its political existence has been largely ignored.
Like SMOM what is now Vatican City once occupied a lot more territory. The Papal States covered some forty thousand square miles of central Italy for many centuries. Like SMOM, the Pope’s empire contracted a bit when its original area was conquered.
The smallest REAL country in Europe is Luxembourg. I say REAL because it did ALL the things a sovereign country does. It printed its own money, though Belgian currency was also an official currency there until the Euro. I believe that is the only example on earth of a country OFFICIALLY accepting another country’s money as official and yet printing its own at the same time.
Luxembourg actually had its own army and used it as a member of NATO, to which it contributed on regiment. Luxembourg was exactly 999 square miles in size, which always made me want them to take another square mile when I was nine years old and studying my little red ge0graphy book all the time.
I believe Andorra is the only country on earth whose main industry, officially, was smuggling.
Throughout the 1950s Andorra’s official, appropriated military budget was exactly twenty four dollars and sixty five cents per annum.
The Channel Islands Britain had their own sovereignty. They were the only English-speaking areas occupied by Germany during World War II.
When I said that Luxembourg was eh only country that OFFICIALLY recognized a foreign currency and yet printed its own, I forgot that Scotland printed its own currency and may still do so but mainly uses the British pound.
I think that Vatican City is the only tee tiny country that does not have the same official language as its bigger neighbor(s). The official language of that country is still Latin.
Oddly enough, all this seeming trivia can be very useful in an international law lecture, but I was fascinated by it long before I taught that.
Dammit, Peter, I am NOT TOUCHY!!
I get so sick of people calling me touchy!
Excuse me a second while I get my paper bag.
Whew, that’s better!
Something else I am getting tired of is people whispering behind my back about how paranoid I am.
And that cat stomping around next door is getting on my nerves.