It was one the rare occasions when I was in a bar, imbibing with my usual moderation. I forget exactly who I was with. All I remember is that I was somewhat embarrassed at how she was hitting the liquor.
She was so drunk she looked blurred.
There were some guys in coats and ties at one table and one of them bought a round of “free” drinks for everybody, including me and my blurry girlfriend. He was celebrating the fact that he had just “won” a car dealership.
By “won” I mean that he had bid highest among a group of people bidding big money for that dealership.
That’s why I put the quotes around the “free” drink I got from him.
Guess who paid for the high bid he was able to make? Well, I have bought a number of new cars in my life, and the people who buy new cars are the ones who paid for his bid, plus the profit he made on it.
I figure, very conservatively, that that drink cost me twenty or thirty thousand dollars.
I also had to pay for the guy who works for him. You know how it is when you buy a new car. The dealer sits down with you and gives you such a deal on the car, such a deal as you never saw before in your life.
It’s less than the factory cost. The dealership will lose money on it. He is giving up his commission. His family will just have to go hungry this week.
Then he goes to “clear” this money-losing deal with his supervisor. You can see through the glass as he breaks the awful news to his boss.
The boss’s reaction for your benefit depends on the price of the car you are buying. If it is a luxury model, he looks stunned and sorrowful. For a super-luxury car he turns pale and has to sit down.
When it comes to cars that sell for over a hundred grand they have a special ambulance that comes in, red lights flashing, into which he gets carried, clutching his chest.
For the cars I bought, he just nodded.
So you pay for the dealership, the salesman who is standing around most of the day and clears his shirt-losing deals with the manager, overhead, the works.
Plus profits on all that.
One company is experimenting with a technique that takes all the drama out of this. They are selling cars just like you buy anythig else, off the shelf.
You would find it hard to have a life if you haggled over everything you bought in a store. The entire personnel of WalMart would have to take acting lessons and you would have to pay for them.
If this experiment is succcessful, the price of cars will drop like a rock.
#1 by joe rorke on 11/17/2005 - 1:00 pm
Professor Bob, you have done it again. This one has me rolling in the aisles. I mean that was GOOD. It’s the funniest one I have read since I have been hanging around. I never owned a new car. Never will.
#2 by Derek on 11/17/2005 - 1:54 pm
I haven’t heard of any car companies doing this yet. Perhaps it could eliminate huckster car salesman forever.
#3 by Peter on 11/17/2005 - 11:48 pm
How do you polish these pieces so quickly?
#4 by joey o on 11/17/2005 - 11:54 pm
I bought 3 new cars in my lifetime and I wonder how the poor saleman can survive to this day. I really got a good deal from them on each. So much so that I told my friends how good of a deal I had from this fellow. “Friends, i tell you, I figured out how to get the best deal on a car…go to Mr. Such and Such at Youknowwho Dealer and tell them that this is the amount that you want to pay.” They don’t want to lose the deal to (insert competitor here). Mr Such will give you a rock-bottom price. So my firend goes to Mr. Such and Mr. Such gives them scuh a good prive thast my friend tells his friends…and that is how the car salesman survives.
#5 by Elizabeth on 11/18/2005 - 2:45 pm
My mother briefly sold used cars several years ago. One of the few pieces
of useable advice I’ve ever gotten from her is not to even think of
buying a car the first year that it has any new feature as it takes at
least a model year for the manufacturer to get the bugs out.
Haggling just isn’t something that’s native to our culture. I’m glad to
see that it’s showing signs of disappearing totally. (GM pulled itself
back from the brink for at least a few months this past year by
adopting that policy.)
My next car will be used. Not only do I expect to be in circumstances
in which I won’t need it for commuting, I won’t be able to afford
what I want in a new car. If you think about it, a new car is an
illustration of the “What’s the point?” question.
#6 by Bob on 11/18/2005 - 2:58 pm
joey, in case some readers don’t catch your point, the deal a peson thinks he gets playing Mr. Such off against his competitor would be fine if they didn’t know each other. He pretends he CANNOT lost this deal, tells you he is losing his shirts, clears the deal with much apparent debate with his manager,and you have something to brag about.
Which, as you say, is excellent advertisement for them.
And we pay for the whole circus.
#7 by joe rorke on 11/20/2005 - 1:07 pm
I’m a terribly old-fashioned fellow. It’s so good to see someone using the term “used car” as opposed to that (to me) unbearable term “preowned car.” What’s so hard about calling it a used car? Does that somehow denigrate the car? Hardly. It might be a fine car. Every used car I ever bought was a fine car because I made it so. Preowned car. So much nonsense. Or….politically correct religious nonsense.