When I was coming up historians taught us that Columbus showed the world was round.

Actually everybody knew the earth was round. Columbus’s contribution was to get the diameter wrong. He thought that Asia was closer than everybody said it was. They were right. He was wrong.

In our history texts there was a map that showed how the Middle Ages pictured the flat earth. That map was actually a part of the Renaissance, not the Middle Ages. It was a map from Ancient Rome. Ancient Romans never sailed the oceans.

So this silly Roman map was produced to show how the Northern Europeans, the ones who knew where ICELAND was, thought the earth was flat.

Witch-burning is another thing blames on the Middle Ages. Actually the Malleus Mallifactorm was written in 1474, under the influence of the Renaissance.

Medicine also took a giant leap backwards during the Renaissance. The Roman doctor Galen’s nonsense was rediscovered and bleeding took over as a cure for disease.

Vikings didn’t GET scurvy. Scurvy was another Great Leap Forward from the Renaissance.

In decades of reading, I have yet to find one single ADVANCE of any kind that came as a result of the so-called Renaissance. In math, calculus was already very advanced in Northern Europe long before the Renaissance.

I was just talking about the Urban Myth of Goldfinger being dragged out of a plane through a single bullet hole he had put in the wall.

That’s OK for a movie,but in an age where shooting it out on a plane is a serious question, this kind of juvenile thought simply will not do.

You can’t understand anything if you believe the myths.

For example, if you watch a 1930 movie you can tell that someone is living in the Year 2000. He is walking around in a uniform, a tight outfit with pointy things on the shoulders, that everybody would be wearing.

If you look at a history documentary, you can tell who is an Ancient Man. He is filthy and dressed in rags, that is, shapeless animal furs.

That is what we see in backward lands today, so we assume out ancestors must have looked like that. But actual finds of Cro-Magnon statuary show hairdos that are nothing like what we find in primitive lands.

The backward colored peoples who have stayed backward would probably have looked primitive to the Cro-Magnons of Europe thirty thousand years ago.

In the Middle Ages, many castles had showers that are astonishingly like the showers we have today. But historians insist that the ceremonial baths were the only baths they ever took back then, maybe once a year.

Actually, bathing was popular inthe Middle Ages, but the Renaissance, from which I can find not one single advance and lots of backward moves, condemned it.

Hisorians will tell you that our ancestors never bathed, but once when the Danes had invaded Britain, they were surprised by the Saxons on Saturday, their BATH day, and they were routed because they were ALL in their baths!

But like Goldfinger going out that bullet hole, all the documentaries show that no one EVER bathed, much less a group bath required on Saturday.

Actually our ancestors were very rich. There was usually plenty to eat and Celtic and Germanic homes look a great deal more like our present homes than any in the Middle East do. So do their clothes. Germans didn’t wear robes and togas. The pants worn by Celtic tribesmen look a good deal like pants worn today. The Ice Man found in the Alps from five thousand eyars ago was dressed in clothing that would have been alien to a Middle Easterner but look familiar enough today, IF you take into account he was on a trip across the mountains and not at a fancy-dress ball.

There was a very practical reason peasants in the Middle Ages might have smudged faces. Have you ever heard the “expression “smoking them out?”

When people settled in agricultural settlements bugs became a serious problem. That is why they had no chimney. Their dwellings were very thick with smoke because the smoke drove out the insects.

Look at the accepted picture of Cro-Magnons painting on the walls. They are dressed in the uniform that says “Primitive non-Middle Easterners.” That is, their hair is ragged, their furs are ragged, and they are filthy. The cave is completely bare.

Look at Rome today. The Collisseum looked like that not that long ago. It was just bare stone.

I doubt seriously if the Emperor would have sat in a bare stone seat with no painting anywhere. I doubt that the room of Cro-Magnon was bare. I think they may have had a REASON to go deep into the caves,with traps and other blocks to outside entrance.

Historians insist Cro-Magnon went a mile into the earth just to paint and then come back out.

They get PAID for crap like that!

But deep in a well-protected cave there would be no tiny insects and no very large bears. It would have places cool enough to store food.

Can you imagine how impossible it is for me to take professional historians seriously?