B. U. G. S.

Peter Pain asked me how Lake High is.

Lake was talking like Joe and now he has quit. He deecided that we didn’t have a chance and spent some hours trying to convince me of this. He had one idea that might offer hope, but when no one would finance that, he simply quit.

Unlike Joe Sobran, Lake is polite enough to call back when I call, but he has now added himself to the awesome list of people who don’t want to talk to me voluntarily.

Is Lake therefore Evil? Bob has a rule: When everybody does it, you can’t blame it on everybody. I don’t buy the “Everybody hates Jews, so it’s everybody’s fault.” The problem is, I have to apply the same rule to myself.
Jared Taylor is one of those Southerners people look up to. Nobody knows exactly why they look up to him, but they do. Sam Dickson has the same talent. Jared is the movement’s apostle to the upper classes, just as I am the apostle to the rednecks.

The problem is that we are both genuine about it. So we don’t get along with each other. If Jared or Sam Dickson and I were the usual sociopaths who have decided to divvy up the audience we would get along fine.
After hours, all sociopaths are the same. We aren’t. Jared has a small group of people he really deals with. They are impressive. Sam Dickson is one of them, my old friend Sam Francis was one of them. Joe Sobran is probably another he listens to.

Thirty years ago I would have believed that the reason I am not in this clique is because I am a bluff, blunt regular guy who has no use for such pretensions. Back then I would have believed it. It would be all Jared’s et al’s fault. It took me forever to finally read my own writing and realize I was thinking like a Jew.
The fact is that Sam Dickson and Jared, as I said, are very impressive. Unlike me they are able to convey a personal impression of being above the crowd. Being on the crowd’s level like me has its uses, but you also get lost in the crowd.

People see me as a guide and trust me to lengths that are almost beyond belief when they have known me only a short time. But they are not in awe of me. And a movement needs some awe.

On the record, my credentials for being a forbiddingly high level of genius are far, far better than Jared’s or Sam Dickson’s. But when we are together, people NEED their approval in a way that would make me uncomfortable. Sometimes it makes THEM uncomfortable. I am sure that they do not understand their role as well as I do. But that does not qualify me for Jared’s Inner Circle. In fact, from many years of dealing with the few legitimate cliques that exist, like Jared’s and the endless numbers of fake ones I have a long list of disasters. Letting me in a circle that requires one to fit in is a BAD idea. I not only can’t fit in, I often take the whole shebang with me.

This is now easy for me to say because I am completely dedicated to our cause. This is a brag, I suppose, but I am far, far, far beyond the time when it made any difference to me how people thought of ME as long as they served what I live for.

The second I realize where they fit in is the second I am satisfied.

No, I don’t care if “There is only one God and He is God and Moses is His Prophet.” I don’t care whether I am given credit for something. Least of all do I undrestand Joe or Lake’s keeping score on Hope or Hopelessness. I have seen far more than my share of dead people and in every case it strikes me that none of them needed to do any more planning or predicting. I do not expect to be rewarded for my dedication. I have always been punished for my devition to what is right precisely because it is right. The reason evil triumphs is because it has a PAYOFF. So I start out by rejecting the payoff.

At age sixty-five, I am STILL figuring out the basics. Thirty years ago I was old enough constitutionally to be president of the United States. But back then I would have argued that any clique that didn’t include me just didn’t recognize true talent. It took me a whole generation to realize, all the way down to my gut, that a clique exists for its own purposes. I don’t BELONG. I am DESTRUCTIVE in that particular clique.

In fact a clique is exactly like running for office. I cannt be elected to office. This does not mean that I am not smarter than most people who do. It does not indicate that in refusing to elect to the state legislature people are just being mean.

You don’t want me as your state legislator because I will not remember your name, I will not pay attention to the street repairs you need. But according to my fat paychecks I am enormously useful to those who DO fit into elective office.

Kelso says he reads this blog several times daily. He is familiar with what I say. He told me that at a recent convention he had his first experience with being a staffer inthe way I keep describing it. Don Black was delivering a speech they had written and he said he kept feeling like hjumping up and shouting, “That was MY idea!” Kelso is willng to admit he is a beginner at just about anything, and that is a talent in itself. He knows that it takes a LOT of growing up to be a staffer, a full realization that that concept you worked out will either disappear or someone else must get credit for it. If you have kept up with this blog, this will strike you as obvious: a professional staffer takes years to get used to the idea that his concepts go into the pot.

If I were a paid staffer for Jared Taylor and he asked me, “Bob, should you be in my clique?” I would answer “No.”

I DESERVE to be in ANY clique dedicated to the white race. I DESERVE credit for all the ideas I have had. But that is NOT the question I, as a professional, have been asked. The question is, “For the good of the cause, Bob, should you be in this clique?”

No frigging way, Jose.

After two generations of making yourself a professional you wonder why you ever thought otherwise.