Elizabeth replied to my article about how girls and boys are different by agreeing with me, which is always nice. But she added a more important point: that when women get into a fight, there is no quarter, no rules of engagement, no Geneva Convention.

H.S. agreed with her, as Elizabeth ended, “Gentlemen, just stay out of these battles.”

Feminists love to quote things like the old Roman Law. They point out that, according to those laws, women were reduced to cowering, helpless slaves.

But if you read real history, you see the usual proportion of Roman men, those all-powerful paterfamiliae, who were terrified of their wives.

As usual, I look for the simple explanation of this.

Here it is:

Men are physically stronger than women. As a result, women developed a form of defense that men have only gotten a name for in the last century.

It is called psychological warfare.

My brother is the father of three girls. Once when one of them was about three, she came up to him, cuddled up in his lap and said, “Daddy, I love you.”

She then went into the next room.

My brother was charmed.

A minute later he heard her five-year-old sister in the other room whisper to that little girl, “Yes, that’s how you do it.” My brother is a pediatrician, so this did not surprise him in the least.

While men are learning to be men and warriors and writing great sagas about themselves, women are also learning how to be women. I have this paranoid feeling that if anyone wrote a history of THAT, the Sisterhood would kill them.

They say that we are all great singers in the shower. When you are singing in the shower you can hear the music playing in your mind. But when most people actually sing to a tape recorder they are appalled at what comes out.

The same is true of people who are “doing an accent.”

I have a relative who will sometimes do a Southern accent, and he is just awful. He sounds like every New York comedian who hates the South and mimics Southerners in a way I have never heard anyone, trash included, actually speak.

All of my kinspeople not only love the South, they are Southern Nationalists. But when he does that Southern accent, this guy does not hear himself and how much he sounds like that South-hating New York Jew.

I have heard the person he is trying to sound like, and nobody could identify any similarity.

He doesn’t mean any harm, just as a perosn who thinks he can sing and has no talent means no harm.

Most people can’t sing. Most people can’t “do the accent.”

Most people can’t sing or do accents. Yeshiva University finds that out every time it puts on Shakespeare’s “Merchant of Venice.”

Just as a lot of people think they can sing, a huge number of Jews think they can do a stereotypical Jewish accent. They think they are hilarious. So at Yeshiva, year after year, the people looking for a good Shylock have to suffer while they listen to a hundred people who think they are doing The Offended Jew perfectly.

You have watched the same thing happen when people are looking for singing talent. It is not only painful for them, it is embarrassing. You listen to one person after another who honestly thinks he or she has rhythm and a great voice, and they are just AWFUL.

But, just as in the case of great voice, when you hear someone who really can “do the accent,” it is magical.

One Jew I know always goes into The Accent when the subject of some big sale deal camesup. He will suddenly assume a character that would make Shylock look like a Presbyterian. He moves his hands and says, “Such a DEAL! Such a deal as you never had in your life!”

If you could see him do it, you would laugh until the tears come, the way I do.

Political Correctness outlaws that sort of thing. It says “doing the accent” reinforces a stereotype.

No way.

“Doing the accent” has nothing to do with reality.

“Doing the accent” is the stereotype squared or cubed. That’s why it’s so funny.

You are not laughing because it is grim, sober reality. That simple observation is beyond the Politically Correct imagination. It requires a sense of humor, and a sense of humor requires a sense of proportion which sour-faced Political Correctness simply does not have.

If you have any experience of the real world you would no more believe a real Jews talked that way than you would believe that Laurel and Hardy were being presented as typical white gentiles.

The problem is, of course, that Politically Correct people have no experience with the real world. “Doing the accent,” like all real comedy, goes beyond reality and every adult knows it.

Politically Correct people have no sense of humor, so they see it all as a plot against Jews. At the same time they never even imagine that Laurel and Hardy or Abbot and Costello or Al Bundy on Married With Children represent some kind of plot against white gentile males.

When I lived outside of Pontiac, South Carolina, we had the only TV set around the brick plant. So the little black kids I played with would come and lie on the floor — with me in case you think they were being humiliated. They were ALWAYS there when “Amos ‘n Andy” came on.

The program was entirely black. They saw black judges who spoke perfect English. They saw black doctors. They LOVED it.

But all the NAACP noticed was that this comedy program had some comedy blacks on it. Amos was the complete idiot, just like Laurel in Laurel and Hardy. The Kingfish was the Hardy, the guy who could always fool and cheat poor old Amos and who thought he was smart because he could.

Andy, the narrator, was a black taxi cab driver who had touching scenes with his children and was a very sensible man. But the NAACP did not notice the black judges, the black doctors, Andy’s good sense, the black teachers, or anything else.

All the NAACP saw was that the two main character in a comedy show looked like fools.

Oh, and there was the lawyer Calhoun. He was the one educated black on Amos ‘n Andy who was portrayed as a fool. The NAACP ignored the black judges and said it was all a plot to make all black lawyers and all other educated blacks look like fools.

If you get a tape of the old Amos ‘n Andy show, you will find that the black lawyer who was a featured character on Seinfeld acted EXACTLY like Calhoun on Amos ‘n Andy.

Why? Because it’s FUNNY.

So the NAACP scored a major triumph by getting Amos ‘n Andy taken off the air, despite the fact it was a hit show and the ONLY black show on television. Not one of the black actors on that show ever got another major role. There were no roles for blacks, and I’ll bet every one of them was tainted forever by the NAACP for being in on this evil, racist White Gentile Conspiracy.

I once saw the actor who played Amos do a bit part on TV as a butler. I felt the unfairness of it all. He was as great an actor being Amos as Laurel was as being the complete white gentile idiot. But the NAACP put him on the human junk pile.

As for the black kids who had been there every week to watch Amos ‘n Andy, they were completely stunned. They cried. The world of educated blacks, of caring black parents and hilarious black comics was suddenly gone.