The difference between living in a monastery and living in a prison is not the food or the freedom. It is the company.

Most of the real misery in a prison is what the inmates do to each other.

Many years ago in a restaurant I was very upset by how sullen and rude the waitress was. The guy with me said something very illuminating:

“Just remember,” he said, “That attitude will keep her in a low-pay dead end job for the rest of her life.”

There is a famous picture of the passengers on a New York subway in the 1950s. What comes through is the misery and hopelssness written on every face, from the well-dressed businessman to the shabby folk. New York was proud to be the rudest city on earth and New Yorkers were known to be pushy and insulting.

The results showed on their faces.

I was insulted by a man I knew who didn’t return my greeting. It turned out that his son had been killed in an accident a few days before.

Maybe 99% of the people who are rude to you are just being nasty. But I would rather forego being nasty back to them if 1% are like the man whose son had been killed recently.

And the nasty people usually end up leading pretty nasty lives.