In my piece below, I raised hell about how commenters keep apologizing and how I’m sick of it.
Let me repeat Jow’s comment on “Mark” below, and see if you don’t agree he has nothing to apologize about:
I think you are a person who requires patience and understanding and tolerance from the people you are dealing with. I could be wrong but I suspect that you have had many personal battles in your lifetime. One of the reasons for this would be that you take a stand on various issues. You stand up. You poke your head over the top of the trenchline. Of course, people are going to take a shot at it. People who stand up, especially on issues that the overwhelming majority of people in our country would not even whisper about, can expect a fist in the face now and then. I imagine yours has been pretty well battered. Of course, I could be wrong. It’s just a feeling I have. Look what they did to Christ! He told people the truth and they nailed him to a cross! Humanity. Don’t ya just love ‘em?
With regard to your most recent horsewhipping, perhaps there was a misunderstanding on the part of your cane-wielder. On the other hand, the person may have felt thoroughly justified in tapdancing on your chest. By now I would think you would be used to it. I suspect that you have seen the backs of many heads moving away from you. They don’t understand you, Bob. Furthermore, they don’t want to understand you. It’s too much like work.
I don’t think you’re thick-skinned, Bob. I think you’re very sensitive to criticism. You don’t like reproach.
What’s not good is people moving in the same direction and fighting with each other at the same time. I’ve seen a lot of this over the years. People claiming to want a certain goal and fistfighting with each other at the same time. Bodies lying all over like pieces of shrapnel and people wondering why the goal hasn’t been achieved.
That people can and will turn on you is something you can expect. I have a story for you about that but I won’t include it here. I can just tell you that when that happened to me I dealt with it immediately. I terminated the relationship. But he threw the first punch. I threw the last one.
Comment by joe rorke —
MY REPLY:
Yes, Joe, Mark’s explosion did hurt me.
No, I am NOT used to it. I deal with it.
Being a male, Old Bob hides the fact that he is hurt. And it is true I have grown an elephant skin over my personal sensitivity.
If I were half as tough as I pretend to be I wouldn’t need the elephant skin.
I venture to say that I am not the only male here who does this all the time. Our tendency to act as if we are untouched by unfair assaults is, as I said below, a result hundreds of millions of years of gene selection.
To repeat:
“The female does not choose the male who panics on the strutting ground.”
No comment I make is justified if it only applies to me. If what I just said doesn’t strike a chord with you, I miss my guess.
There are plenty of blogs, and a blog by an insenstitive person is not worth your time to read. So in order to justify your chossing this one, I have to 1) be able to dish it out and take, but 2) take your criticisms seriously.
A real Macho Man would not be able to do step 2)
So what you say gets us back to a point I keep making, the sort of point you read Bob’s Blog to hear:
What I do is simple, dish it out and take but never to be invulnerable to criticism.
Simple enough.
But, God knows, it is not EASY.
Simple but not easy.
Feel it but take the heat.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Simple truths are never easy.
#1 by joe rorke on 01/20/2006 - 8:35 pm
Well, Bob, you certainly didn’t give me hell in this piece. It must be the next piece.
With regard to the whole idea of “sensitivity” (I put it in quotes because it has to be defined), I know that some people equate “sensitivity” with femininity. I don’t. Not at all. Sensitivity means caring and being able to enter the feelings of another person. I don’t call that necessarily feminine. Some con artist must have come along at one time or another and decided to pervert the language and the ideation by equating “sensitivity” with femininity. Well, he/she didn’t fool this downhome boy. Any man worth his salt, in my opinion, should be capable of caring for his fellow man. I never question my manhood. I hope I am a sensitive person. How can anyone successfully explore the depths and breadth of humanity without a reasonable degree of “sensitivity?” I am wedded to a wonderful woman for many long years and I love her dearly. She is “sensitive” and so am I. Which is to say she is deeply caring and so am I. I should also tell you that, in my opinion, she is a finer person by far than I am. I can do nothing but thank God that she took me as her man.
Pretense does not enter into our relationship. I never pretend to be Mr. Man and she is yet far more humble than I. What am I doing here, writing a book? On to my horsewhipping. It must be in the next piece.