Joe says I am attacking him “in front of the class.” He doesn’t seem to be intimidated by this, since he has made several commemts in his usual bashful way since he said that.
Hey, gang, I get to have a little FUN here.
I hit at Joe because I enjoy it. The world is not exactly full of people I can drop the hammer on and not have to worry about it. What I say to Joe doesn’t bother me. What may concern me is htat readers, especially those new to the blog, may think that these two old dogs are actually BITING each other. Our snarling and mixing it uyp may make others uncomportable.
It shouldn’t. Joe and I enjoy each other because we have something irreplacable in common. And that was true long before we discovered we were both in “the program.”
One thing that suprises newcomers in alcohol and drug recovery is how us inmates talk about the most tragic things and LAUGH. Long before I entered the program at age 51, I had learned you hvae to either laugh or end up in a padded cell. If you see people tortured to death, if you see your world being destroyed, you HAVE to learn to laugh at the absuridty. Someone put it perfevtly, “We laugh and we joke but we don’t PLAY.”
Laughter in the program was just a late manifestation of this. Joe likes my brutal humor because we couldn’t have survived without it. This is important:
Man is the only animal who knows he will die. Man is the only animal who LAUGHS.
I have just as much if not more in common with the young idealists like Dave and the older idealists like Budarick. But each thing I have in common with you is irreplacable.
I don’t mind admitting that I’m not tough. I’ve been HURT with Elizabeth, I seek faith like Shari. I was a drunk like Joe. It hurts me to see a white person with a black adoptee the way it does Dave or Pain.
Joe talks about how he would have personally executed Ted Bundy. I have been in a lot of fighting, and I doubt there is a single commenter here who would NOT be willing to pull the switch on a cold-blooded killer.
That includes the women. In fact that may ESPECIALLY include the women. But Joe seems to think he is especially tough. He look down on mere words. The problem is that we do not have the CHANCE to pull the switch on people who deserve it. The battle is words. That’s the fight, and that’s the battle I fight. Pullling hte switch is a luxury I don’t have. But if I do what I am trying to do, my young idealists will get to pull it.
The humor Joe and I share is the pain Joe and I share.
No war hero ever made the slightest difference in real history. Only those who fought with words determined reality.
I am not the slightest bit concerned with whether I am bragging or not. or things like that. I have said that it would be mistake for me to be in any clique because I woud be destructive there. Nobody is less qualified for electoral politics than I am, because that requires an absolute obsession with leaving the right impression of ONESSELF and that most low and superficial of talents, remembering people’s NAMES.
Since Dale Carnegie people have freely admitted, even bragged, that they elect people to decide the future of their race and their children on the basis of whether a person remembers their NAMES, whether a person made sure they weren’t personally insulted. I would rather be accused of about anything than to admit that I let someone’s remembering my NAME determine the future!
No one else seems to consider that an insult. They say it is “human nature.” It’s sure as hell not the nature of THIS human. I think a human should have frontal lobe, not just a herd instinct. But REVEREND Dale Carnegie, the philosopher for psychopaths, said it was OK.
I have just recited a list of things above. Each would merit a book, but I have written all the books I plan to. Each of the observations I have made show how people have stopped being human, and not just in politics. I will use words to help make some of them human again.
I don’t need a faith or Judgement to make me act human. I judge myself every day. If I face a Judgement, I do not expect it will be an exam on the Old Testament or a test of how I followed any other theological BOOK. If God is THAT shallow, I don’t stand a chance anyway.
#1 by PeterGene Budarick on 07/30/2006 - 1:21 am
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“One thing that suprises newcomers in alcohol and drug recovery is how us inmates talk about the most tragic things and LAUGH. Long before I entered the program at age 51, I had learned you hvae to either laugh or end up in a padded cell. If you see people tortured to death, if you see your world being destroyed, you HAVE to learn to laugh at the absuridty. Someone put it perfevtly, “We laugh and we joke but we don’t PLAY.”
I can relate to that because i have, since childhood, been blessed
without a sense of humour, but gradually developed one as i am growing old.
This was not deliberate.
It just happened.
If one has full understanding of death
[by which i mean certain actual life experiences in actual life]
then life is really funny.
The things people worry about – like Jews.
I laught at their Holocaust. It is so funny that they actually believe
that this horror only happened to them!
Oh, it is funny when you see how silly it is.
It isn’t that i am being disrespectful.
But it is just so insane that ONLY Jews have suffered
that you HAVE get a sense of humour.
So the holocaust is very funny.
Especially when you realize that it was Jews who killed other Jews.
But what absolutely gets me laughing to the point of nearly choking to death
is that Gentiles believe the Jewish tales and are so SERIOUS about that
that they will gladly hand over their boys to death and torture
in Jew wars.
And i HAVE noticed that many sensitive Jews are comedians.
Boy, they would have to be!
PGB.
#2 by joe rorke on 07/30/2006 - 3:52 pm
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I just read the first paragraph of your response and already I’m laughing like a crazy man. If you and I were ever in the same room talking to each other it would be a riot in my opinion. Maybe I would have to pay you for making me laugh but it would be worth it. The only other thing that I can think of that can make me laugh is the movie, “Planes, Trains and Automobiles.” And I don’t ordinarily look at a movie. Permit me, Sir, to recommend the above-mentioned movie for your viewing pleasure. Viewing what is happening in the Middle East is making it somewhat difficult for me to laugh. Your check is in the mail, Sir.
“I hit at Joe because I enjoy it.” Hey, I like that. A little bit of introspection here. Excellent! Now that you mention it (oh, I’m so ashamed) I think that may be the same motivation for my taking swats at you! And I thought it was all for your edification! WoW! What a teacher! Now I’m almost sure that’s the reason that I pick on you. Because I enjoy it. Oh, my God! That’s the wrong reason! Turns out I am a “mean old bastard” just as you say! And I thought I was being helpful. Some form of self-deception no doubt. Well, let me thank you publicly, Bob, for bringing this character flaw to my attention. Now my job is to remove this character flaw. I thought I was being your friend telling you things for your edification trying to make this blog even better than it ever was not for me but for you! Turns out I’m just a “mean old sadistic bastard” that enjoys bludgeoning the salt of the earth. What a piece of human garbage I am! I’m not sure I’m gonna make it through this one. I wouldn’t mind beatin’ up on a bad guy but you’re not a bad guy. I can’t justify this in any way.
I hope you’re not gonna charge me for this lesson, Bob, ’cause I ain’t a rich guy like you. I’m just a poor white honky what likes to lash out at anything in sight. Think I can get away with blamin’ it on the murderers in the Middle East? I’ll try, that’s for sure.
Whoops! I never thought of that! “Our snarling and mixing it up might make others on the blog uncomfortable. Especially new folks to the blog.” I never thought of that. Well, new folks to the blog pay attention! Bob and I are only fooling around with each other. We don’t have a war going here. This is just child’s play. I don’t dislike Bob. I don’t think he dislikes me. If he does I’ll kick his ass! See? That’s just an example of kidding around. Most of the time, as far as I know, we’re just kidding around with each other. I’m not trying to make Bob look like a horses ass. See? Right here there’s room for a wise guy comment. But I’m not going to throw it in here. Bob should know I’m only kidding around with him. Nobody here should think we don’t like each other because, as far as I’m concerned, that would be impossible. We both want the same thing. Get it? Sometimes you need a little humour because the stress of combat is something that needs to be relieved from time to time or you go to Chillicothe where Bob and I are from.
Everybody relax. This can be a fun place. When it’s time to get serious we can get very serious.
Beautiful, Bob. I think that IS what we laugh at so often: the absurdity of so much of life. You live so many years and you experience this and that and you learn this and that and, finally, you’ve got your shit halfway together and you die. That’s absurd!
Every year for 7 years I stood at the window where they were having meetings. You know what I mean, Bob. Tears would stream down my face as I saw the people laughing their asses off and drinking coffee and eating cookies and having the time of their lives. I cursed them! Huck you, said I, as I took off into the night and spent another year without any kind of help. I did this for 7 years. I didn’t know what it meant to laugh and have a good time. I mean a REALLY good time. You know what I mean, Bob. I was 47 when I walked in the door after having finally given up. They taught me how to laugh. They taught me how to be a human being. Before that I was a robot. You can imagine my gratitude. I will forever be grateful. You know what I mean, Bob. Even now it brings a tear to my eye to realize what they did for me. A piece of human garbage and those people carried me all the way. Peering through the meeting hall window from the outside in subzero weather I hated the guts of those laughing people. What could they possibly be laughing at? What was so funny? They taught me to laugh. You know what I mean, Bob.
“If God is that shallow, I don’t stand a chance anyway.” Signed Bob W. Now I find that funny. I find that VERY funny.