A few years back I read a medical article about why old men do indeed get to be grumpy. It turns out that they develop the exact same problem I have had all my life.

I have always had very, very bad Attention Deficit Disorder. I didn’t know it.

Older men develop exactly the same thing. They get grumpy only partly because they feel put upon.

You see, there is something worse than people blaming you unfairly. What is worse is constantly being blamed for things you DID do wrong and not being able to explain to people that you CAN’T get it right.

All my life people beat on their chests, gave the Tarzan yell, and said, “Bob, if you would just DISCIPLINE yourself like your hero, me, you wouldn’t make those mistakes and lose track of those things.”

I have never heard anybody tell a person in a wheelchair, “If you would just DISCIPLINE yourself like your hero, me, you could run and jump. I can run and jump. That’s because, unlike you, I got DISCIPLINE.”

Since I found out I had this ADD about ten years ago, about a thousand people have said, “Well, I have trouble keeping things straight, too. I think I have some of that ADD, too.”

Once again, I never hear anybody tell someone in a wheelchair, “You know, my legs sometimes hurt after I run. I think I have some of that ‘crippled’ stuff, too.”

Old men develop what I have, and mine is getting worse. Anytime you deal with people you suddenly find they are furious at you about something, and they usually have a perfectly good reason to be mad at you. When you are told what you are doing wrong, you want to kick yourself too.

But then it’s too late. A lot of people don’t accept apologies the first time. But you can’t help doing things wrong over and over and they lose patience.

You live in a hostile world where someone may blow up in your face for a perfectly legitimate reason at any moment.

So you tend to get ready for a fight all the time.

That makes you grumpy. That makes you shun people. You never know where the next screams will come from, so you just avoid everybody. Every conversation involves walking on eggs, and you’re still not safe.

There is an old song called, “You Only Hurt the Ones You Love.” If you get close to anybody you are going to make those mistakes with them, including letting your underlying fear and hostility show.

The old song goes, “You only hurt the ones you love, the ones you shouldn’t hurt at all,” and that could be the theme song of the grumpy old man. Carrying around the damage you have done to the very people who have been best to you doesn’t make you any less grumpy.

The problem is that it almost always IS your fault. That’s worse than being persecuted.

Someone out there has a child with ADD. Does any of this sound familiar?

I developed a lot of strengths having to deal with this extreme problem I didn’t know I had. Normally this is where one quotes Nietzche, “That which does not kill me makes me stronger.”

There is truth in that.

But when you quote it, it is important to remember that Niezsche died in a madhouse.