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Maturity is a Virtue

Posted by Bob on December 13th, 2005 under History


I keep talking about Ole Bob and what an old man I am. This is a brag.

Since the group that calls itself The Greatest Generation took over, everybody wants to be young.

I think this started with the fact that The Greatest Generation did its bit by the time it was twenty years old and has been living on it ever since.

In earlier days maturity was what people valued. I value it and I tell younger people that I value it. A lot of young people today seem to find my attitude a relief.

I do not tell young people that I am “one of you.” What use would that be? They are surrounded by OTHER young people.

For decades older people have insisted that they are really young at heart.

The reason an older person tries to convince young folks that he is one of them is not to to prove something to them. He is trying to prove something to HIMSELF.

Which is pathetic.

These people are telling young people that they cannot deal with the fact that they are older now. They want to prove they are still young.

I don’t think there is a lot of useful wisdom in that.

I remember the 1960s when the World War II generation media commentators were glorying in the leftist hippies. They kept insisting that the young hippies were just like them

They were trying to prove something. They were trying to prove that they were still young idealists just like the Peace Generation and the Flower Children.

I kept wondering what the point was for a middle-aged man trying to show he was till young.

If you’re just like them, I thought, who needs you? What have you got to say that anybody needs to hear if the REAL young people are already saying it??

But those pathetic members of The Greatest Generation were not interested in being needed or useful, they were trying to prove to THEMSELVES that they were still young.

So how did they look to me?

I cannot get away from using the word that springs to mind: Pathetic.

Before the Pathetic… sorry I mean The Greatest Generation, what an old guy had to offer was not that he could play hopscotch better than the kids could.

What a mature person can offer young people is that he WAS young, and I remember my youth vividly. But the whole point of younger people listening to me that is important is that I am now where THEY will be someday.

I am not a fellow kid. My advice is about what a former kid should become.

No way a kid should grow up to be ME. But I can offer some perspective they can use as they mature.

I let them know up front I am not a fellow kid or an Olympic Hopscotcher.

When talking to young people my usual intro is, “When I was young I walked twenty miles to school in the snow…”

They can always finish it with, “Against the wind, right? And uphill both ways, right?”

Methinks they’ve heard it before.

But they seem to enjoy hearing it again from someone who is old and proud of it. They know exactly what is behind the joke: I’m the old guy.

Or, more to the point, I’m the man who is already where you are going to be.

A society needs adults. Our youth-obsessed society needs adults more than most.

I spent a lot of years getting to be my age and learning what I have learned.

I plan to enjoy it.

And I am determined to share it.

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  1. #1 by lemon on 12/13/2005 - 9:30 pm

    My father used to tell my childen when they were growing up, that he knew a lot more about being young than they knew about being old. My younger son still quotes it. Ha! But this isn’t entirely whatyou mean, but still. Shari

  2. #2 by Bob on 12/14/2005 - 12:00 pm

    Shari, the last sentence of your excellent comments seem always to be a put-down of Sheri.

    I like Sheri, and I do not like to see anyone, including SHERI herself, putting you down.

    You made a perfectly apt comment on the piece I wrote and then said, “Ha! But this isn’t
    entirely what you mean, but still.”

    Your earlier post, which I praised to the skies, ended with a sentence saying you were not in
    big league politics the way I was.

    So give me the privilege only a crotchety old man has a right to: telling you to stop
    being apologetic about some of the best responses I get here.

  3. #3 by Derek on 12/14/2005 - 12:20 pm

    I think that this is the problem with a lot of us today Bob. We are told we are unimportant because we didn’t do anything as great as the generations before us. Our opinions are not valid because they have information that is only relavent to US and not EVERYONE. Or that some high falutent professor did not back up our claims.

    I can understand her discouragement. It is the same as mine. I just don’t like it anymore.

  4. #4 by Mark on 12/14/2005 - 1:34 pm

    There goes Bob flirting with the women again. Watch out Shari, Bob may be long in the tooth but he can charm your pants — er, well…just keep your eyes open.

  5. #5 by Elizabeth on 12/15/2005 - 2:52 pm

    Yes! Be a grown up!

    I remember growing up in the late ’60s and ’70s and desperately wanting
    guidance — not preaching, not screaming, not lecturing, not judging —
    from my parents. I got some guidance from some of my teachers, mainly
    the older “relics” who taught unfashionable things such as diagramming
    sentences. I ran into a few who were deeply into being “pals” instead
    of the authority figures they were supposed to be.

    I’m shocked by how many parents today don’t want to be parents, but
    pals. I don’t have any children at this point, but I’ve taught, and
    I’ve been really shocked at all these people with children who
    don’t want to give their children the guidance and the leadership that
    are some of the key indicators of being a parent. One of my
    favorite radio hosts admonishes many of her callers “Be the parent!”

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