In the TV version of The Stand, the big, brave, slow guy said “I HATE being retarded.”
He had been born retarded, but, unlike most big blond men, he was a hero in the movie.
I really identified with him.
I HATE the fact that I not only have ADD (attention deficit disorder), I have DISABILITY LEVEL ADD. A lot of people have ADD, but mine is extreme.
But my disability does not allow me to signal it. I don’t carry a stick and wear black glasses or sit in a wheelchair. I just often look like an incompetent fool or do something that seems thoughtless and rude, and I have to explain it, which is very hard on a man’s ego.
Then they tell me they know how it feels, meaning that with some World War II Heroism I could overcome it. I have never heard anybody explain to a guy in a wheelchair that they know how it feels because their legs get tired a lot, or to a blind man that they know how it feels because they can’t read small print.
So the humiliation is increased when, trying to explain why I made a particular gaffe that may have sounded rude, like not remembering their name.
This is documented ADD that is at a level where, unlike the more general cases, gets me a disability check for it. The requirements for this are rigid and well documented.
The forensic psychiatrists who tested me had, like the others, been sent the official record of my work. One of them said, “I could have sworn from your tests that you could not have done this.”
My smartass reply was, “Half of it hasn’t been declassified yet.” That was true, though far less than half. But it felt very good NOT to have to explain myself for once.
So, while I prefer to be known for pure brilliance, the fact is that part of my strength and reducing things to essentials is due to overcoming a disability. A lot of top athletes used to be people who had had relatively mild cases of Polio. Once they fought their way back from THAT, going on to do the disciplined work it took to rise to athletic superiority was easy.
So don’t get upset if I forget your name. I am also incompetent at thinking of examples of things. BoardAd has learned to simply take my word for weaknesses and he just goes in and takes care of whatever I need without making me explain it.
There is no doubt in my mind that this Disability level ADD is part of what has given me strength other people do not have. It is hard to cow somebody who has had to fight it out in public all alone when he has had to regularly overcome a disability that made me so often look like a fool.
I regularly couldn’t remember an example or a name or a fact or where I was in the discussion. In fact, I was bad at the very things everybody who speaks in public has nightmares about.
Yes, it is hard not to think of the quote, “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.”
The man who said that died in a madhouse.
My disability was not discovered until I was in my fifties. I had spent my whole life thinking I was especially dumb in many ways and in my childhood being cussed at for my lack of discipline and my wandering mind.
So I understand the bullying you have gone through on a very personal level, and I think you pick up on that.
Oddly enough, the very thing that made me feel like an intellectual jelly roll all my life made me as hard as steel compared to those not so handicapped.
So if I forget the name that goes with a comment I admire, try to remember that that goes with the territory that made me reduce things to insights that you want to read.
It also explains why I delegate so well, and why my ambition is to have you charge in and do my job.
People who have been subjected to a lot of cruelty tend to like ironic humor. The irony of all this is that all the hundreds of people who lectured me about how one can overcome one’s mental failings with mental discipline were bitching at the best example of doing just that they would ever meet.
#1 by dungeoneer on 03/02/2011 - 8:25 am
Like Ole Bob,some of us BUGSters may not be the most polished of blades,but our cutting qualities are becoming legendary in the butchery that is the Mantra War.
That`s all that matters.
#2 by Dave on 03/02/2011 - 8:48 am
Everything is in relation. I know this because I am too damned angry about the plight of my people and the plight of my race for this not to be true.
There was no accounting for the depth of my anger and that pain acted as a forge to my soul. But that could not have happened were it not for Robert Whitaker. There is nothing particularly worthy about anger and Robert Whitaker saved me from the ordinary misdirected Stormfront style zealotry on account of it. That is a service for which I am particularly grateful and it is a service that Robert Whitaker is performing for us all, freeing us to become effective advocates for our race.
When we call our opposition “the regime of Political Correctness” that too is Wordism. It doesn’t get at what we are actually dealing with, which is a regime of unwarranted suspicion, accusation, and defamation by brain dead and self-righteous bigots. Our opponents are “parochial” in the full-featured sense of the term. Theirs is the ancient regime of village tyranny where ignorant and zealous mud-butt religious bigots (village tyrants) accuse the entire community of “not measuring up”. It’s nothing but old time atavistic simian-level bullying that has infected the world since the beginning of time. “Mommy Professor” is a major vector of this infection.
Our “siegecraft” at BUGS is to learn to overcome it which means getting realistic about Mommy Professor’s monkey world.
Robert Whitaker allowed me perceive the truth of what we are dealing with. How many times has Robert Whitaker said, “This is nothing new”? So when Robert Whitaker says that his habit of perceiving the world through the lens of the discipline of Occam’s razor is owing to his attention deficit disorder, there is no need for us to respond parochially and ignorantly the way our opponents do. Anyone suffering from a disability acquires quite the favorable theater seat for displays of human nature.
I don’t have any problem understanding Robert Whitaker. Some people are destined and there are reasons for everything.
Robert Whitaker’s extraordinary articulate voice is not going away. His voice has great meaning for the white race. And there is beauty there too. You just have to be intelligent to see it.
#3 by Gator61 on 03/02/2011 - 9:23 am
Thank you Bob. I was cursed or blessed with an above average IQ and dyslexia. When I was in grade school few knew what dyslexia was. For that matter very few inderstand it today. It isn’t just turing letters around it is processing information differently than normal people. In my case I would be able to read to myself with very high comprehention, but when I read aloud as is required in elementry school words would be skipped and come out of my mouth in different orders or even replaced by synonims. The worst part is spelling correctly is nearly impossible for me. Not being able to spell has made me look stupid more times than I could count. No telling how many good ideas I’ve had that have been dismissed because I looked like a retard when I tried to put them in writing.
Seeing spelling errors in some of your posts was always a source of inspiration to me. If a man as smart as Bob can make a few spelling errors and achieve all he has then I can too.
Thanks Bob. You are an inspiration to me.
#4 by Creator on 03/02/2011 - 4:33 pm
I just take, what ever good, I see concerning the Mantra, Bobs grand articles and BUGSters comments, where ever I find them, to heart and use it shamelessly as my own, just like the below declares:
#
Copyright Policies
“Robert Whitaker grants full and free use of his ideas and writings as they pertain to aiding others in stating the facts about white race genocide and its agenda of forced non-white immigration and integration into ALL white countries and ONLY white countries.”
As for a few spelling and grammar errors, I love them :), makes me think that a human is expressing him/her self. If people can’t get pass that to the real message, then I do not want to know them either. Sometimes I put them in deliberately. Those who comment on them negatively, I dismiss outright with “You failed the test, bugger off” 🙂 And if they don’t, I just make more fun at them.
#5 by dungeoneer on 03/02/2011 - 10:29 pm
Speaking of butchery,
“Like Ole Bob,some of us BUGSters may not be the most polished of blades”
The Bob Whitaker I read and hear is elegant simplicity and supreme functionality personified.
Bloody brain!
🙂
#6 by James C on 03/03/2011 - 10:09 am
If I were to express the full depth of my admiration for Mr. Whitaker, I’d look like a slobbering sycophant.